Love Changes Everything
by LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken
Summary: Do people ever really change? I mean you grow taller, your face changes, and you get somewhat smarter, but does your personality ever really change? Do you suddenly lose yourself and become someone else? ***Now Re-Posted!***
1. Some Things Never Change

**Brett POV**

Do people ever really change? I mean you grow taller, your face changes, and you get somewhat smarter, but does your personality ever really change? Do you suddenly lose yourself and become someone else?

Me and my girl were lying in the grass at the local park. We were under a giant oak tree, soaking up what seemed like the only shade in this damn town. She had her eyes closed and her hair was sprawled out around her head like a mini halo. I mentally snorted at the thought, Lucy was far from angelic.

I turned my head towards her, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, just looked at her. Every day was the same, we piss each other off, we fight, we ignore each other, and then we makeup. But, recently, all we seemed to do was fight.

We had been dating for years, and it had always been the same. We were so on and off, it was almost impossible to still call us together. But, as if clockwork, we always ended up back together. Some break-ups took longer to heal than others, but everything always worked out. No matter how many times we tried to make each other jealous, no matter what insults we though at each other, and no matter how often we swore we hated each other, we knew we wouldn't have it any other way.

We were all still the same people, just more mature. I had definitely realized what an ass I had always been, and learned to quickly grow out of that. Evan and Patrice were still going strong, and were inseparable.

Lucy and Patrice were… better. Lucy had stopped tormenting Patrice, well, to an extent. They weren't super close, but at least they were civil. Evan and I were closer than we were before. It was difficult to explain. In the past few years, whenever Lucy and Patrice would have one of their oh-so-famous fights, we always had to take our girlfriend's side for our own survival. Now that they have learned to talk to one another without hair pulling, Evan and I have had time to actually become friends.

Kendra and Lucy are closer than they ever have been, probably because she's all over Archie now. Kendra and I dating is still a sore subject for Lucy, and bringing it up is not a wise thing to do unless you enjoy bleeding internally and listening to your girlfriend sob for hours. Although it angered Lucy that Kendra miraculously regained her missing brain cells, and wasn't as easy to manipulate as before, it worked out better for their friendship. It has been a rough couple of years for Kendra, as well as the rest of us, regarding Archie. He has been so close to death, so many times, and it has hit us all pretty hard.

Archie had always been there, it seemed unreal whenever we saw him lying helpless in a hospital. That's where he was now, with Kendra by his side of course. He had come as close as ever two weeks ago. The doctors are saying the end is closer than ever, and that's just too much for us all to handle. He's having an operation done today, and Lucy and I were gonna stop by later to check on the progress. Not that there will be any, he's been having surgeries done since he was little and nothing ever seems to help. It's always the same thing, the doctors will say he needs another operation, Kendra will cry, and Archie will try to reassure her, even though you can clearly see how scared and exasperated he is. The sorrow will wash over us all and Lucy will shed some tears when she thinks no one is looking, and Patrice will leave the room and sob in the hallway for a few minutes before coming back in and grabbing Archie's hand.

Cassie, Charlotte, Kendra, Molly and Lucy are still talking every five minutes, but have learned to talk to each other about more than just gossip. They are still the same giggly, energetic cheerleaders they were four years ago, but that's why we love them. As for me and my boys? Well, let's just say it's a high school flashback whenever we're together. That just leaves Lucy. Ah, Lucy, so much I could say that if she ever acquired the ability to read minds I would be dead within seconds.

She was still the same bitchy, overly-jealous, loud, demanding, emotional, insecure woman I fell in love with in when we were thirteen. Bulimia was a battle that she fought hard against, but every time I almost had her fully convinced she was beautiful, she looked at her torso in the mirror and stalked off to the bathroom. She was getting better, but I hated the idea of doing that to herself for so long. She has been doing it less and less frequently now, only caving in once or twice a month, which is a huge step, considering she used to do it four to five times a day. It wasn't even the thought her throwing up before she digests, as if that isn't horrible enough, it's the fact that she doesn't see what I see. She's gorgeous, she always has been and I will never stop trying to convince her.

We both had huge egos, and I guess that's why we went together so well. I knew how to deal with her jealousy, even though I was just as bad as she was. She knew I loved her, but she also knew how much seeing her all pissed and jealous turned me on, so I might intentional make her jealous more often than a good boyfriend should, but she knew it was only out of love.

Lucy and I were by far the most dysfunctional couple out of all of our friends and by far the kinkiest, but we were guaranteed to last the longest. I'm not that different from the person I was all those years ago, but I know Lucy changed me. She made me realize there was more to my life than just being a jerk to everyone. She was my chick and I would beat the crap out of anyone who tried to hurt her.

I was the one there when she freaked out over how fat she was, or how her hair was a frizzy mess, or when she thought I was flirting with someone else. I was always there for her when no one else was, and she knew I would always be there.

I looked back over at Lucy's still form. Her face was totally content, her eyelids closed sweetly and her chest was rising and falling slowly with each breath. I couldn't tell if she knew I was staring at her, and if she did she didn't show it. I reached over and grabbed her hand, her precious, rosy pink, lips curving into a slight smile as I did so. Her skin was warm from baking in the Indiana sun for the past few hours.

I loved times like this. Where we could just sit and enjoy being with each other, instead of constant fighting and bickering. I loved knowing that no matter how many times we fought, we would always end up back here. I loved when she could let her guard down, and just trust that I loved her, and not read into everything I say. I loved her.

I spontaneously grabbed her relaxed body and pulled her to me, earning a squeal and giggle in surprise from her. I placed her head on my chest, before kissing her earlobe and whispering an 'I love you' in her ear. She turned her head up, placing light kisses along my jaw.

"I love you too," she whispered sweetly, before pecking me sincerely on the lips. I looked into her warm, chocolate brown eyes and could see nothing but love, adoration, and trust in them.

She placed another kiss on my mouth, this one lasting longer than the first. My hands found her hips, and hers intertwined them in my hair. I rolled over until I was hovering over her small body, my mouth still attached to hers. I kissed along her jaw to her neck, biting, sucking, and nipping all over the soft flesh, forming what would soon be multiple hickeys.

I let my hands roam under her shirt, my finger lining the wire of her bra. I left a trail of kisses down her collarbone, as I squeezed her breasts through her bra, a sensual moan escaping her mouth. Damn, I swear there was nothing sexier than my girl moaning at my touch. I smirked at her before sliding my hand under her bra, my fingers teasing her hardened nipple.

"Mmmmmm Brett," she moaned and arched her back. She tugged on my hair, begging me for more. Her hands toyed with my jean zipper as she pulled my mouth back to hers, and before she could make my boner any worse, I pulled away and sat up, taking her with me.

"C'mon, baby, you know how much I wanna take you right here, but we gotta head to the hospital," I told her, trying to hide the bulge in my pants. What can I say? I'm a teenage guy with a ridiculously hot girlfriend that is always willing to have sex with me; it's like a guy's dream.

I tilted her chin up with my thumb and index finger so I could look in her eyes, and I watched them change from lust to sorrow to understanding as she took in my words. She nodded and I pecked her luscious lips once again, before standing up and grabbing her hand and pulling her up with me.

With that, we walked off towards my car, knowing that we would be together forever and nothing could ever change that.

"Why the hell were you texting Molly at two o'clock in the morning yesterday?" my lovely, but scary girlfriend screamed at me, clutching my phone in her hands. The concern she had in eyes for Archie was morphed into pure jealous and rage.

Well, some things never change.


	2. How Did I End Up With A Drama Queen?

"Lucy, seriously it's no big deal," I told my steaming girlfriend for what felt like the eight hundredth time. I had my left hand on the wheel and my right on her thigh, rubbing soothing circles with my thumb, hoping to calm her down. This wasn't the safest way to drive, and having to look over at her every three seconds to make sure she wasn't going to throw anything at me wasn't helping either.

"Just answer the goddamn question Brett!" she shouted in her deafening voice once more, and I swear to god she has the biggest mouth. "Why were you texting her last night?" Her voice was shrill and demanding and full of rage, but I looked into her eyes and could see nothing but the raw insecurity she contained.

"Lucy, please. It was nothing important alright?" my voice was softer and I could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes, she was always getting upset whenever she thought I was paying more attention to someone else. My heart broke as I saw the sadness replace the anger on her delicate face.

"You were with me last night! What reason could you possibly have for texting Molly, of all people?"

"Babe, if you remember we were watching a movie on the couch, and you fell asleep-"

"Oh, so you had to text Molly?" She was getting more annoyed with every word I said and I knew she was getting to the point where with one wrong word, I wouldn't get laid for weeks, and trust me, I like getting laid.

"No, Luce. She texted me saying she couldn't sleep and just wanted to talk to someone."

"So? You didn't have to answer her! She has other friends Brett."

"Shouldn't you be mad at her for texting me?"

"Brett, Molly is one of my closest friends. I would never be mad at her for something so stupid." She gave me look that implied a 'duh' at the end. "On the other hand, you're my boyfriend and I will kick your cheating ass."

"Lucy! I'm pretty sure you know by now I wouldn't cheat on you with Molly." I gave her disbelieving look and sighed, shaking my head as I turned my eyes towards the road. After all this time she still didn't believe how truly whipped I was. She still doubted that I was hers, but I will never stop trying to prove it to her.

"Oh, okay. So you're cheating on me, just not with Molly?" She had turned her body towards me, her eyes accusing and her mouth pouting and scowling at the same time. Would there be something wrong with me if I said it was incredibly sexy? Ugh, see how screwed up Lucy made me?

"Lucy. I. Am. Not. Cheating. On. You. I swear, you know I would never cheat on you." I pulled into the hospital parking lot and looked for a spot, praying to god Lucy would have the common sense to drop this ridiculous argument when we were in front of people.

I pulled in near the front and parked before pulling the keys out of the ignition and turning towards Lucy. I planned to take her into my arms and kissing her until she was breathless so we could put this stupid argument behind us and make up like we normally would, but of course Lucy had to be a drama queen. She glared at me before yanking open the car door and stomping her way towards the hospital, the slam from the door vibrating through the air.

I shook my head and got out of the car. I could tell by the way she was walking that this was going to be a long day. I followed her in, practically sighing in delight when I felt the cool air conditioning of the hospital on my face. I walked up next to her at the receptionist's desk and placed my hand on the small of her back, attempting to bring her closer to me in an apology. It didn't work.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist's smiling face asked me. Her hair was dark and curly, and her tan faced looked tired, like she had been working for a while and would kill for a nap. She was about forty, too old for Lucy to be jealous over and thank god for that. Adding to our current mess wouldn't help me.

"Uh yeah, we're here to visit Archie Walker." I told the nurse. She smiled and looked through her computer for a few seconds before smiling back at us. "The doctor is running some last minute tests, have a seat and he'll be right out to bring you back."

"Thanks," I muttered as I turned around and went to sit beside Lucy who was in the corner, with her face in a magazine.

Great. Well, at least she knows how to forgive and forget. I sighed and plopped down next to her. I grabbed my phone and started flipping through my messages.

. . . . . . . .

To: Brett

From: Cassie

hey r u and lucy there yet?

. . . . . . . .

To: Cassie

From: Brett

yeah we r. u on ur way?

. . . . . . . . .

To: Brett

From: Cassie

yup :) almost thr

. . . . . . . . .

To: Cassie

From: Brett

hurry up. lucy is pissed and ready 2 kill me

. . . . . . . . .

To: Brett

From: Cassie

crap. ok. b rite thr

. . . . . . . . .

I lazily threw my phone down in my lap, and glanced over at Lucy. She was flipping the pages fast, barely enough time to read half a page. God, what did I do to deserve this?

"What did Molly have to say?" she asked annoyed and bored at the same time, her eyes never leaving the page.

"Wasn't Molly." I responded, just as bored. I was so done with all of this. "It was Cassie."

"Oh so now you're cheating on me with Cassie?" she asked, her voice low and fierce. Her eyes snapped up and narrowed with nothing but pure hatred on her face.

"No, Lucy. I would not cheat on you." I replied, staring deep into her eyes, praying to god it would sink in. She rolled her eyes, and started flipping through the magazine once more.

"You wouldn't be saying that if it was Kendra." She said so low I wasn't sure if she had said anything, but the look of betrayal and annoyance on her face gave her away.

"What did you say?" I asked disbelieving. After all this time, after years of love and commitment and devotion, she still thinks I'll leave her for Kendra.

"You heard me." She turned towards me and replied bitchily. "You've always wanted Kendra and now that she's with the cripple, _you can't stand it_." She glared at me, daring me to agree with what she said.

"Lucy, the only thing I can't stand right now is you." I glared at her back; she was really starting to piss me off with all of her insecurity crap. I have dated her for years; you would think she would have some fucking faith.

"Because you have to hide your feelings for Kendra!" she shrieked, throwing the magazine down on the chair next to her. "You're only with me to make her jealous, and every single day you go to bed praying she will suddenly realize how in love she is with you and come back to you. And every single time she touches Archie, or kisses him, or says how much she loves him it kills you."

I looked at her like she was insane. I mean really? Was she serious? "Dammit Lucy you finally figured me out! I tried so hard to hide my obvious love for Kendra, and you found out! Who told you? I mean I tried so hard to hide the fact that I have been dating you for five years and the whole entire time I was just dying to be with Kendra. Dammit. Well now you know." I responded sarcastically, my eyes telling her to calm the hell down.

"You go ahead and be sarcastic all you want, you bastard. It still doesn't make up for what you did." She replied in the bitchy way she does and put her nose back into the magazine. I swear to god if she didn't put that goddamn thing down I was going to rip it to shreds.

"And what did I do Lucy?" I asked in pure confusion. She's probably going to make up some absurd story because that's just how charming my girlfriend is.

"You choose Kendra over me." She said simply. Her voice was monotone, but the pain and sadness in her eyes was strong when she thought of the flashback.

"Lucy, please. Just once I would like this not to come up in an everyday conversation. I chose you because I love you. Kendra is like a little sister to me, I will never love her the way I love you." I stared deep into her eyes and tried to let my words get through her thick head.

"Oh so you do love her!" she shouted accusingly.

"Yes, I do love her. Like a sister. The same way I love Molly and Cassie and Charlotte." I spoke slowly, like I was talking to a kindergartener.

"Oh my god, you love them too?"

I swear to god I'm dating a blonde.

"Yes, Lucy I love them. But I'm not in love with them."

She looked away; feeling defeated, and brought her knees up onto the seat, hugging them to her chest.

"You still chose Kendra over me." She mumbled quietly.

"Baby, if you remember I came right back to you twenty minutes later." I said lightly, entwining my fingers with hers and kissing the back of her hand. Thanking god when she didn't pull away.

"Yeah, twenty perfectly good minutes you could have been fucking her!" she exclaimed, digging her nails into the bare flesh of my hand.

"Luce, I didn't fuck her. You know I wouldn't wanna be with anyone besides you." I leaned forward to kiss her temple but she turned away from me.

"Yeah, well while you were with her, I was alone in a bathroom, throwing up my lunch." She said bitterly, looking at the floor. Oh my god. Flashbacks entered my head, that's what I had walked in on? I always wondered why she had still been in there when I went back.

"You were throwing up?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah I was." She said blatantly, staring at me.

"Lucy honey, I'm sorry. Okay? I love you. You know that. Please forgive me." I begged, hating to see her so upset. She just looked at me with disgust written across her face before standing and walking to the door and into the arms of Cassie.


	3. Love Conquers All

**Lucy POV**

My head was rested on Cassie's shoulder, and my hand was in Patrice's. As much as I hate her, and am convinced she is a man, she is the sweetest thing I've ever met. I lifted my head and felt the unwelcome dizziness that came with crying. I gently removed my hand from hers and wiped my sticky black tears from my face. Cassie looked at me hesitantly.

"You okay, Lucy?" she asked warily.

"Yeah, I guess." I replied softly, trying to hold back tears. I can't believe that after all this time, and after everything I have done for him, he still likes the blonde whore.

"What happened?" Patrice asked gently, pushing the face that got stuck in my smudged makeup behind my ear, with nothing but concern in her eyes. Huh, maybe I could like her. "I came in with Evan and all I see and hear is you sobbing on Cassie and Brett looking like he wants to hang himself." Then again, maybe not.

I looked over at Brett; he was across the room talking with Evan. He looked serious, annoyed, confused, and upset. Good. He shifted his eyes to mine, and smirked when he noticed I was staring at him. He gave me his sexiest look, knowing how horny he could make me just with his eyes. I rolled my eyes, and turned back towards the two girls, as they anticipated an answer.

"He chose Kendra over me." I said simply. They both gasped.

"He did not!"

"Lucy, are you serious?"

"Well he didn't cheat on me," I admitted stupidly, and they all seemed to exhale and calm down. "He just never denies the fact that he loves Kendra more than me!" They both exchanged knowing looks and turned towards me, each grabbing a hand.

"Lucy," Patrice started, "You know perfectly well tha-"

"You know what Patrice," Cassie cut her off, "There is way too much awkward in this room. Why don't you go check on Archie and see when we can go back?"

"Sure." She replied sweetly, obviously happy to leave. Bitch.

"You want me to take Evan with me?" she asked.

"No, Brett needs someone to talk to you, he looks like a mess." Cassie looked at me accusingly, I glared right back. "Besides we don't need you get distracted and ripping Evan's pants off half way there." She said in her sassy cheerleader voice that I was so proud of. Patrice however, didn't find it amusing.

"I would not!" she shrieked, her cheeks burning crimson.

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say honey. Just go check on Archie." Cassie scooted closer to me and put her arm around my shoulders. Patrice glared slightly, before turning around and walking down the long, white hallway.

"Alright Lucy, now spill." Cassie demanded, her eyes boring into mine.

"I don't know, Cass," I said honestly. "I guess I'm just being dramatic." I spoke quietly, avoiding all eye contact. I may be a kick ass liar, and as bitchy as hell, but my girls knew me like no one else. That's probably why she made Patrice leave; she knew I would never open up in front of her.

"Lucy, you're always dramatic. It's what you do." She looked at me with knowing eyes; she knew I wasn't saying what was on mind. What has been on my mind for five years. "Now, what's really wrong?" she grabbed my hands, and leaned her head down so her eyes were even with mine.

I spared a look at Brett before answering. He looked like a mess, like he did every time we broke up. I felt my heart shatter a bit at the thought. No, no Lucy. You do not feel guilty, especially over something that has hurt you. Even if you do love him. No, Lucy. You can love all you want, he still hurts you.

"I'm scared." I said simply, turning my eyes back to Cassie's. She looked confused, her eyebrows bunching together.

"About what? Lucy you have nothing to be scared about." She looked lost, and squeezed my hands slightly.

"Brett leaving me."

"Lucy, don't start this. You know Brett loves you." She shook me slightly, trying to force me to process the information.

"He can say he loves me all he wants but I still see it!" I exclaimed, letting all my insecurities from the past five years pour out. I had always been proud; dating Brett Samson was definitely something to be proud of. But, it was also painful and difficult. "The only thing I ever see is girls flirting with him and him flirting right back! He has girls all over him 24/7. All I ever do is bitch and nag at him, how do I know he won't leave me for someone else?" I paused looking away, "Someone like Kendra."

Cassie's words processed my words carefully, her eyes switching from confusion, to pity, to understanding, to agitation. "Lucy, you listen to me." She said strongly. "Brett might have girls flirting with him, but it doesn't matter because in his eyes, you're the only one he'll ever see. When you're not around, you're all he talks about. He loves you Lucy."

"But what if he stops?" I asked worriedly, "What if he realizes he deserves better and leaves me?"

"He won't because he deserves you and you deserve him." She smiled at me and hugged my still slightly shaking shoulders. "Trust me Lucy, you two are the most dysfunctional couple in the history of the world. But I've never met two people that love each other more."

"Thanks Cassie. I have literally loved you more." I said sweetly as she giggled.

I smiled and hugged her again. Things would work out with Brett, it would take time, and I don't think we will ever stop fighting. But it doesn't matter, our love will pull through. I looked back at him and gave him a small smile, and his eyes lit up, knowing everything was okay.

I was about to go over and talk to him, when Patrice walked back in with a doctor.

"Guys, we can go back now." she told us, walking over to Evan.


	4. A Conflicted Girl In A Conflicted World

Patrice kept her head down, avoiding eye contact and wiped a tear that had slipped down her cheek. She took a shaky breath in and tried to hide her depression. Poor thing. Why would she hide what's she's feeling? I let everyone know what I'm feeling. Then again, I do get in a lot of fights… Alright that's not the key issue right now.

Evan met her half way and pulled her in for a hug. He looked at her confused, but she only shook her head in response.

Cassie nudged my arm and pulled me up, following the doctor back to the room. I glanced over at Brett and he was walking towards me and Cassie. Shit! I was not ready for this. I looked at Cassie and she smiled sweetly and gave me an encouraging nod. I felt Brett next to me and without looking grabbed his hand.

This was just too damn familiar. The past few years have been amazing. They were filled with passion and friendships and laughs and memories and love. But there was plenty of fighting and loss and pain and suffering and jealousy and heartache embedded in the happiness. I love Brett. I know I do. But is it worth it? I mean is this what our life together going to be like? Fighting and bickering and disagreements and depression and awkwardness until we finally give up and give in and start the cycle over ten minutes later? I'm exhausted from our fifteen minute fight, am I really ready for a lifetime of tolerance and endless fighting?

For the first time in my life, I doubted my relationship with Brett. I never thought I would, but now that I am, I'm realizing these thoughts have been there for a while; I was just too scared to admit them.

Cassie linked her arm through mine, sensing my distress. She sent me a concerned look, I mouthed 'later' and she nodded slowly. The distress must have been apparent in my eyes; I could feel it on my face. My hand went limp in Brett's and I felt his arm go stiff. Dear God, what was happening to us?

Evan and Patrice hung back a few feet behind us, whispering secretively. We rounded the corner and the doctor held a patient door open. Brett, Cassie and I went in, while Patrice stayed out with Evan to talk to the doctor.

Kendra was sitting on the side of the bed, holding Archie's hand. He looks tired, like he hadn't slept in two days. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he had dark circles under his eyes. Kendra gave me a small smile, but she didn't look much better. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a messy bun and she was sweats, something I hardly ever see her in. Her face looked tired, not just physically but emotionally as well.

Archie's face light up just a little bit when he saw us. That's good, I mean c'mon who wouldn't' be ecstatic if they saw me walk in the room? I am honored that I can provide such happiness to everyone around me. It's my own form of community service.

Cassie walked over to give Archie a hug, he barely responded, looking like he didn't have the physical strength to lift his arms. Wow, he must be weaker than I thought.

"Hey Ken," Cassie said softly, before enveloping Kendra into a much needed hug.

This all felt so weird. Whenever we were here it felt like we were all different people. It seemed impossible that all the serious and devastated people in the room were the same people laughing and hanging out by the pool just enjoying each other's company last week.

I awkwardly let go of Brett's hand and went to sit next to Kendra on the bed, while Brett and Cassie leaned against the wall next to Archie's bed. I grabbed Kendra's hand and could see the raw pain in her eyes.

God, how does she go through this every day? Watching the one she loves in pain and falling apart right in front of her eyes. If it was Brett on in the hospital bed, I would never be able to sit there calmly. Hell, when he twisted his knee in football I was in more pain than he was.

"So, how you doin man?" Brett asked with concern in his eyes. His blue eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. Stop it Lucy. That's not exactly helping anything right now.

He shrugged, a nonchalant look on his face. "Fine. No worse than usual. Doctors suck man, every time I come in here they tell me I'm gonna die and I'm always fine." He shook his head and seeing the hurt on Kendra's eyes, squeezed her hand and repeated "I'm always fine."

"Doctors just exaggerate." He explained, turning back to Brett. "The longer I'm in here, the more money they get. That's all they care about."

Kendra looked like she was about to curl up into a ball and drown in tears. I knew she wouldn't dare cry here, she always said how she needed to be strong for Archie. But knowing from experience, a person can only hold things in for so long.

"So, you're okay then Archie?" Cassie asked softly.

"Yeah I should be. I'll have to be here for a few more days for like recovery and stuff but I think the surgery helped a lot." I'm not really sure if that was true or if he just added that in for Kendra's benefit.

I smiled at Archie and went to stand next to Cassie, while Brett asked Archie more questions.

"He seems fine, why was Patrice crying?" I asked her quietly.

"You know her, she always cries when he's here, just like Kendra does."

"Yeah, but she's not in love with Archie." I retorted confused, what was her deal?

"Yeah, but he was her only friend for like ever."

"That is true," I nodded, realizing how much of a nerd Patrice is. "No one has ever really liked her."

"Oh, Lucy. I will never get used to the compassion that just rolls off of you." She smirked, nudging me with her elbow. I nudged her back and smiled before looking over at Kendra.

Kendra looked at Archie with tear filled eyes. It looked like she wasn't really paying attention to what Brett was telling Archie. Good. Brett looked at her with sympathy. Douche bag.

My anger towards Brett was pushed aside and my friendship with Kendra went to the top of my priorities list.

"Ya know what, Ken, you look really tired. Why don't you come down to the cafeteria with me and Cassie and give the guys some time to talk?" I asked as sweetly as possible. Cassie nodded her head in encouragement and smiled at Kendra.

"Uh, I don't know…" she started, looking at Archie.

He smiled. "Go babe. I'm fine, really."

"Okay." she sighed, forcing a smile. She got up and kissed his forehead, giving her best smile, and I knew he saw through it. I stood up and grabbed her hand when she turned back around, and walked out with Cassie right behind us.

Patrice and Evan were further down the hallway than when we went in. They were standing by a reception desk, talking to some of the nurses.

I could see the pure relief Kendra had in her eyes to be out of there and be able to show her emotions, and I knew Cassie saw it too. Cassie grabbed her other hand and we made for the cafeteria.

"So how are you, Kendra?" I asked looking at her worriedly.

"I'm fin-"

"You're obviously not fine," I cut off. "How are you doing, Ken? Really?"

She sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek. One of the many she had been concealing.

"It sucks. Its sucks so much. Seeing him lying there and not being able to do anything about it." More tears fell as she spoke through the sobs caught in her throat. "I just- I know I have to be strong because if I'm upset than he feels bad and he gets upset and that doesn't help his health and then I feel even worse because I'm making him upset by being upset and god I just wish there was something I could do! I'm so friggin useless, just sitting there watching him suffer and I can't- I can- I ca-" her tears turned into sobs during her rant, and now she was full on weeping. She collapsed and sat down, leaning against the wall.

Her head was in her hands, her knees to her chest, her whole body turned in. Me and Cassie exchanged a look of nothing but worry and concern. We sat on either side of her and each grabbed a hand. No one said anything; we just sat there letting Kendra get out what she needed to.

Kendra's whole body shook and she started choking on her own air, not being able to force oxygen down her tear-producing throat. My heart broke watching her completely unravel in front of me.

I gently grabbed her head and placed it on my shoulder, wrapping my arm around her trembling back. I kissed the top of her head, before resting my cheek on it.

I felt Cassie place her head on Kendra's shoulder still holding onto her hand and wrapped her other arm around Kendra's waist.

The three of us sat there in silence for the next few minutes, hell it could have been hours, time seemed to freeze. No one knew what to say. Eventually Kendra's sobs stopped until the tears were streaming down silently, and then finally stopped.

If Brett or any one of the guys had witnessed they would have thought I was possessed. None of them knew I was capable of not being a total bitch all the time, and I had every intention of keeping it that way.

Kendra was my best friend and yeah we bitch it out like all friends do, I'm always there for her and vice versa. The same goes for Cassie and Molly and Charlotte. They're the ones that keep me grounded and the ones I depend on and trust with my life and seeing Kendra like this was practically killing me.

Patrice is another story. We have had our differences. Well, more like major differences. So yeah letting her see me nice and sweet and vulnerable is something I don't need her having against me.

Evan and Archie not as much. They know I can tone it down, and that's as much as they're gonna know. When Evan first moved here, he got me at my bitchiest, right when I had to steal Brett from Kendra. So anything after that was considered nice to him, but he knows how bad it can get. Archie is the one guy I show it more. I mean, c'mon the kid's in a hospital! I do have a heart. And seeing him lying in a hospital bed, practically dying, doesn't really give me motivation for a bitch fest.

Brett is very on and off with it. I'm sure he knows, because my girls have always said what I've done for them, which he hardly ever believes. But when it's just me and him and there is nothing left to fight over and we are just happy being with each other, I'm not gonna be a bitch and ruin it. He's knows I can shut up, and he knows ways to shut me up, but he also knows that he'll get it just as bad as the next guy. I bitch at him more than anyone, mainly because I know he won't get pissed and leave me for it. I think it actually turns him on, which is never a disadvantage.

As for all the other idiots Brett insists are friends, there is no way in hell they will ever catch me being nice. For one, I'm always mad when I'm around them, so bitchiness will just come naturally. And two, I don't need them thinking they can walk all over me.

A few minutes after Kendra's tears had stopped, Cassie spoke up.

"You're not useless, Kendra." She whispered. "You're so far from."

"But I am," she answered with a hoarse voice, taking her head off my shoulder and pushing the stray hair out of her face. "There is nothing I can do but sit there and watch him die."

"Kendra he's fine, you saw him. The surgery helped, he will make it through this." Cassie told her.

"Yeah, but what if next time he comes in and he's worse and I'm not able to-"

"Kendra, if you weren't here, he wouldn't be fighting this hard." I told her insistently, placing my hands on her cheeks so she'll look me in the eyes. "He loves you and he needs you here with him. If you weren't here, he would have given up long ago."

"You think so?" she asked hesitantly.

"I know." I smiled.

"Thanks," she replies sighing, and wrapping her arms around me and Cassie. "I love you, guys"

"I love you too," Cassie giggled.

"Love ya too, girly," I said, happy that she wasn't all depressed anymore. Kendra was supposed to be happy and bubbly; when she was sad it was like the universe was collapsing.

"Alright, I've had more than enough drama for one day." I said standing up and offering my hands to Cassie and Kendra. "I need coffee." I pulled them up and we headed towards the cafeteria.

"So, how are you and Brett, Luce?" Kendra asked innocently. Great, this was so not a good time for this to come up. I looked away and played with my hair trying to say something that wouldn't sound bad.

"Uh…" I stuttered.

"Touchy subject Ken," Cassie answered smirking. Damn that bitch. "There's trouble in paradise."

"We're not anywhere near paradise, Cas." I replied letting acid leak into my tone. This was so not something I wanted to discuss in front of Kendra.

"Luce, what's wrong?" Kendra asked, voice worried. Great, now I have to talk about it.

"Nothing, Kendra." I said with my best fake smile. "Everything's cool."

"She's just jealous as always." Cassie added, god what the fuck is her problem right now? "Jealous of his ex-girlfriends, jealous of his friends, jealous of random strangers on the street. Her possession has reached a whole new level."

I am going to fucking kill this bitch.

"Oh, okay." Kendra giggled, knowing how true most of it was.

Right when I was about to start bitching at Cassie and possibly make her cry, because let's face it, when I want to, I can really hurt someone, Kendra's cell rang.

She reached in her sweatshirt pocket and looked at the caller id.

"Dammit," she swore under her breath.

"Who is it, Ken?" Cassie asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Archie's mom. Crap, she's gonna want to know how he's doing."

"Kendra let it go to voicemail and you can call her later. Take your mind off of everything for a few minutes." I told her, knowing she would not be ready to have that conversation.

"No, it's okay. I got it," she said, walking backwards, "You guys go, I'll meet you there." She turned around and answered her phone. "Hi, Mrs. Walker, how are you-" her voice got quieter as she turned the corner.

Now to deal with Cassie.

"What the hell were you doing?" I shrieked, once I was certain Kendra was out of walking distance.

She rolled her eyes and kept walking. "Lucy, calm down. I knew you weren't going to tell Kendra what you told me and you were so efficiently coming up with an answer," she smirked sarcastically. "So, I just told her something completely believable."

"What? I am not jealous! How is that believable?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Shut up."

She just laughed in response.

I playfully shoved her; this day had been such a blur. I don't know whether I'm mad or happy or grateful or bored or annoyed or content. This sucks so much.

Like this morning, it was just me and Brett. Just hanging out, in pure silence, enjoying each other's company. And I was happy I really, truly was. But then the whole text message thing happened and it destroyed all my previous happiness and put me in a horrible mood, which I'm still in now by the way, and one stupid fight about him talking to Molly, turned into something so much bigger.

I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, I really don't know where I stand with Brett. I know I love him, but is it enough anymore? Since we started dating all those years ago, we knew we'd end up together. We'd talk about our future and our life together, but never actually made plans and decisions.

Sure, when we were happy and everything was all lovey-dovey, I never wanted to leave his side. I just wanted to stay with him forever and never have to live without him.

But, when we fought…

It just ruined all the happy things we had. And we had many more fights than happy moments. Hell, our fights started in our happy moments. It just seemed so pointless, and it felt like we shouldn't even bother anymore. We weren't really getting anywhere; we're practically the same as we were when we were fourteen, except older, taller, and more horny, if that's at all possible.

I just didn't want to wake up in ten years and still be fighting and arguing and never being able to see eye to eye on anything. I do want to have a normal life, and I honestly don't see that happening with Brett.

My heart is aching at thought, but it's just logical. I will always love him, but we have been doing the same thing for so long.

There were times where our fights would be too intense and we both would say things we could never take back and we'd break up and date other people and try to return to a normal life. But the whole time, we'd be as jealous as hell and silently suffering and doing everything in our power to make sure the other was miserable until we finally couldn't handle it anymore and one of us would surrender and give in and we'd be back together and back in love and everything would be the same as before we broke up.

We had always ended up back with each other, but I was able to date other people and I was happy with them. Brett was the first person I ever really loved. Maybe I was just hung up on that? And too scared to let that go? I don't want to waste my life on something that wasn't going to amount to anything.

After walking down a series of complex corridors we reached the cafeteria. We each added about twelve sugar packets to our coffee, knowing we would never have the energy to deal with the day without it.

We sat down at a table in the corner and waited for Kendra to come. I kept my eyes down, not really in the mood for talking.

But of course, Cassie wasn't letting me get my way.

"Lucy, c'mon what's wrong?"

I kept quiet for a minute. Should I tell her? I might as well, she will find out eventually anyway, and I really didn't want to tell Kendra and give her something else to think about. I took a deep breath and looked up into Cassie's curious brown eyes.

"I think I'm going to break up with Brett."

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to respond but no noise came out. She looked utterly confused and if I was in a good mood I would be laughing at her right now, but this was a conversation that did not count for laughing.

Then Cassie started giggling.

Well so much for that.

"Ya know, that's funny, Lucy." She said in between giggles. She calmed down and shook her head as if to clear her mind of what I had said. "Seriously, though. What's wrong?" she brought her coffee to her lips.

"I am serious. I think it's time we break it off."

I swear to god I thought she was going to spit her coffee out at me.

"What? Why? When did you- How did you- Wha- Why?" she stuttered.

"Well said." I replied bitchily, rolling my eyes. "But think about it Cass, we have been together for like forever now, and we're not really going anywhere. It just makes sense to break it off now instead of doing it in three years when we have wasted precious time in our lives."

"Lucy, I don't know what the hell you are talking about. You have been madly in love with Brett since you met him!"

"Love fades, Cassie. What me and Brett had was great. Amazing. But we can't pretend it's still there."

"Had? Lucy it is still there! Who the hell are you?" she looked shocked and also kind of scared. Honestly, so was I. When I was thinking about it, it was just some random thought in my head and now I said it and it makes it seem so much more real and god dammit I think I'm going through with it.

My head was pounding and the cafeteria walls were spinning. I literally felt sick right now. It was like I was high off of adrenaline. This can't seriously be happening, can it? Me and Brett love each other and have been through everything together. But the spark we had did fade, and it's not the same.

I am the most conflicted person in history.

"Cass, it's just not working anymore. Okay? All we ever do is fight." I told her, my voice reflecting how tired I was with this conversation.

"Lucy! Fighting is your guys' thing! That's what you do! It's how you express your love!" she was nearly shouting at this point, and a couple people were staring strangely.

"I'm not really sure there is a love to express anymore Cassie."

"Who are you and what the fuck have you done with my best friend?"

"I'm me, Cassie. I just-"

"No!" she cut me off, annoyance, confusion, and anger all apparent in her eyes. "My best friend would never dream of dumping Brett! Brett the guy you fought for, for years. The same guy you stole from your best friend. The same guy you have been in love with since you knew what love was. The same guy you have claimed yours for as long as any of us can remember. The same guy who loves you! And my best friend wouldn't be able to sit here and discuss this calmly. She'd be crying and freaking out and terrified of losing the greatest thing that ever happened to her."

"Look Cassie." I started, completely fed up with this conversation. "I loved Brett, I did. But one person can only take so much. We've been together for years, and we're slipping quickly. All we do is fight, we don't even make up anymore because it's pointless. We'll just end up back where we started. I'm ending it with Brett so we can both be happy with our lives. Okay? God, I can't believe you actually think you have a say in this!" I laughed my signature bitch laugh, and threw my coffee cup in the garbage on my way out of the cafeteria.

I walked down the halls to find Brett and do what I needed to do.

…if only I knew what I needed to do.


	5. What The Hell Did I Just Do?

I stormed out of the cafeteria. My head pounding. As much as I love drama, and trust me I love it, the headaches almost don't make it worth it.

Almost.

I don't know why the hell there was adrenaline rushing through me. My heart is beating so fast you would think I just pulled off an armed robbery. Maybe it was because I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say. This could possibly be the most awkward moment of my life.

Even worse than when Brett's sister walked in on us in his room, and that was- well that was pretty damn uncomfortable.

I rounded the corner and saw Kendra still on the phone.

"Alright. Sure, no problem. Yup, I'll keep you updated. Talk to you soon. Bye." Kendra hung up and shoved her phone back into her pocket and put her head in her hands. She looked totally exasperated.

"Ken," I started, placing my hand on her shoulder. "I have to go talk to Brett. Cassie is probably still in the cafeteria if you want to go down and talk to her."

"Kay thanks Luce, but I gotta go talk to the doctor. See when Archie can get out of here." she unwillingly started walking back down the hall, giving me a small smile as a goodbye.

I walked the rest of the way back to Archie's room thinking about ways to tell Brett, but nothing could come to my mind that sounded okay. This was gonna suck.

I knew how horrible and awkward this was going to be, but how come I wanted to do it so badly? It felt right, like I was doing the right thing.

I stepped into Archie's room and saw Brett sitting on a chair in the corner furthest from Archie, and a doctor scribbling away on a clipboard.

I figured now would be an okay time to talk to Brett, at least Archie wouldn't be totally alone.

I walked over to Brett. He looked up when he saw me come in and it was hard to miss the happiness in his eyes. Well damn, this isn't going to be cruel at all.

"Hey," I whispered, not wanting the doctor to get annoyed. If I got into a bitch fight with the doctor, it would only prolong the anxiety of what I was about to do. "Can we talk outside for a few minutes?"

"Sure," he looked mildly confused, but got up anyway and followed me out.

I really didn't wanna do this in front of other people, so I walked outside of the hospital and down a little so we weren't in front of the main doors.

I turned to face him and had absolutely no idea what to say. He looked at me like he was expecting me to say something, so when I didn't, he asked, "What's up, Luce?"

I took a deep breath and silently prayed I wouldn't say anything stupid that would make this more fucked up than it already was.

"Brett, I think we need to break up."

Wow, Lucy. Could you have blurted that out a little faster?

"Lucy, what?" he looked like he was trying not to believe those words had just come out of my mouth.

"Brett, I think it's time we break it off."

"Lucy if this about what happened with Molly, you know I would never-"

"It's not that, Brett."

"Then what is it Lucy? I don't understand where this is coming from." He ran his fingers through his hair, the same way he did every time he was trying to decipher what was going through my head. Man, I'm gonna miss that. Stop it, Lucy.

"I just-" what do I say? I don't even have a reason. 'it just feels right that we break up spontaneously after all these years' yeah that'll work great. "Brett, let's face it. We fight all the time. And we always thought it was because we were too different but we loved each other anyway. But now," I paused, not knowing how to finish this. "I'm starting to think we fight because we're too different and we clash too much to love each other anyway."

"Lucy, how can you say that? You know I love you." He looked at me like I was insane, and maybe I was.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I love you anymore." I said quietly, for the first time actually feeling guilty for saying something bitchy.

"Oh." Was all he said, realization setting into his face. "Okay."

Why do I feel bad? I never feel bad. No, you can't let him see you guilty. Act like you're fine, like you feel nothing. Stay strong Lucy, you own him. You got this. All your years of bitchiness is being put to the test now, so work it girl.

"Brett, it was fun. Don't get me wrong, these years were awesome. I just think it would be better for us if we broke up now, and dated other people." I smiled a smile full of fake innocence. I am a damn good liar, I should be actress.

"Oh, yeah I get it. That's cool, I guess." He looked okay, and to anyone else he would have looked totally unaffected but I could tell he was crushed. Confused, but mostly crushed.

"Brett, this isn't like an 'I hate you, get out of my life, and burn in hell' thing. I still want you in my life. I mean it'd be pretty awkward if me and you weren't friends, we hang out with all the same people." I giggled lightly, knowing it would make it even worse for him. He winced at my apparent happiness, yay it worked.

"Nah, I know what ya mean, and yeah we could be friends." He gave me a small smile that didn't meet his eyes, and looked away. This was heading towards extreme awkwardness.

"Alright, well I'm gonna go see if I can find Cassie, and I will talk to you later." I nodded and smiled before turning around walking back into the hospital.

I felt a smile creeping onto my face. I don't know what I was feeling. Was it pride? Strength? Adrenaline? Happiness? Joy?

Nope.

I think it was freedom.

I had always been with Brett. Glued to him like we were one person. Always having to compromise, always having to make sure he agreed with what I did. But now I can do what I want.

And I like it.

This feels right.

This feels good.

My smile grew and I knew I had done the right thing.

.

**Brett's POV**

.

Oh my god. What the hell happened here? I watched as she walked back into the hospital. Did that really just happen?

She broke up with me. Dumped me, and out of nowhere! We were perfectly fine hours ago, and now she's suddenly over us?

That's what kills me. She looked totally unaffected. I'm used to Lucy lying, but usually I can tell when she is. But there wasn't the familiar bluff in her eyes, she looked completely serious.

I love her. I know I do. And yeah we fight all the time, but it's never bothered her before. She's usually the one starting the fight. I don't know where the hell this came from.

Maybe there was another guy. I started to see red. Like hell there's another guy. I'll beat the shit out of anyone that even thinks of touching her.

I walked back into the hospital, pissed off beyond belief. This sucks. Lucy was gone.

She knew I loved her, but it wasn't just that. I needed her more than I would ever admit. She made my life complete, but now she's gone and I don't know what to do.

I'm so lost right now.

I walked into the waiting room and saw Lucy, Cassie, and Patrice all huddled together. Great, I can't even imagine the bullshit Lucy is telling them right now. Evan saw me and walked over to where I was sitting.

"Hey man." Evan sat down next to me.

"What is she telling them?" I asked, nodding towards Lucy.

"Ummm, well-" he rubbed the back of his neck, and avoided all eye contact. Dick. Did he not realize how horrible this was?

"Spit it out, Brain." I snapped, my patience long gone.

"Well, she doesn't exactly sound devastated if that's the answer you're looking for." I sighed, what the hell happened to Lucy? An hour ago we were practically having sex in the middle of a park and now she says she doesn't love me anymore. What the fuck?

"I don't get it." I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands. "I don't fucking get it."

"You know how Lucy is, man. You guys go through this daily; you'll be back together in no time." He assured awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation. It was understandable though, Lucy hates him almost as much as she hates Patrice. Actually she hates him more when he's with Patrice.

Either way, talking about her was clearly a challenge.

"Nah, man. You didn't see her. This wasn't like where she breaks up with me, because I made her jealous, or pissed her off, or didn't notice her new jeans." I shook my head, realizing how insane my girlfriend, cough ex-girlfriend, really was. "She meant it." I nodded, finally realizing it was over and I needed to stop acting pathetic and move on with my life. "She really meant it."

"Brett, I'm sorry man. That sucks."

"No, you know what?" I said, cutting Evan off. "I'm done. I don't need her. She's put me through this too many times. I'm sick of the bullshit. She just wants me to go running back to her, begging for forgiveness. Well, I'm not. God, how the hell did I put up with her crap for so long?" I laughed in disbelief. She really had screwed up my life.

"Yeah, man and think of all the things you can do now that you're not with her. Which at last count was, everything." He smiled annoyingly and looked glad I wasn't moping anymore.

"Yeah, you're right." I agreed, ignoring the sarcasm. "Dude, I should be happy right now. Dammit I am happy. Screw her, she was a bitch anyway."

This was gonna work out okay. I knew it would.

I don't need her.

.

**Lucy's POV**

.

"You broke up with him?" Patrice shrieked, her eyes wide. Damn, she needs eyeliner. And mascara. And foundation. Hell, she needs plastic surgery.

"Would you be quiet?" I snapped. Why did she even care? She had her precious little dork, what more could she ever want?

"Lucy, this is insane. You love him, why would you break up with him?" she looked at me like I was crazy. Hell, maybe I was. But I haven't felt this happy in a long time, that's gotta mean something.

"I don't love him anymore. It's been fading for a while. _We've_ been fading for a while." I looked away, not wanting to explain myself any further. They have absolutely no say in what I do with my life.

"Lucy, are you delusional? Did you take some pills we didn't know about?" Patrice looked at my face at every angle, checking to make sure I wasn't crazy. Psshhh, I am not crazy. Fucking Amazing is more like it.

"Look Patrice, this isn't like one of our usual break ups. Okay? Usually when we break up, I'm upset and crying and I really want him back. But now, I feel content. I'm happy and I don't want him back. What does that tell you?"

"Yeah, but Lucy, are you sure?" Patrice grabbed my hand, still looking at me like I was mentally disturbed. This bitch better back off. "You've been with Brett for years."

"Exactly," I responded simply, nodding. "When we were fourteen we were perfect for each other. But we're not fourteen anymore. We've both grown up and now we're different people and if we want to be in each other's lives at all, it needs to be as friends. If we kept dating, we'd eventually snap and have a huge fight that would ruin us forever. If we're friends, like we were before we started dating, we can at least be in each other's lives and be happy without the drama and pain of dating."

She blinked and looked around; shocked those words had come out of my mouth. Honestly, so was I, that sounded like so intelligent.

"Wow," she paused, eyebrows knitting together. "How unnaturally mature of you."

"Don't be so shocked," I added, rolling my eyes. "I do have a brain under these gorgeous strands of chocolate silk." I flipped my hair expertly, and saw Cassie roll her eyes. Bitch. God, what was with her today?

"So it's really over for you two?" Patrice asked, turning her head to see Brett walk back through the hospital doors and sit down with Evan.

"Yup." I said simply. I looked at my nails and damn did I need a manicure! They were all chipped from yesterday when we were in Brett's car and we- Oh my god, there's another upside to this whole thing; no more manicures getting chipped during car sex.

Then again, the sex was pretty kick ass. But that's because I'm like fucking awesome at sex, and that has absolutely nothing to do with Brett. It's all me baby.

"I don't believe it." Cassie said monotone, speaking up for the first time. Her eyes were narrowed into slits as she glared at me through her makeup covered lashes.

"Believe whatever the hell you want," I said rolling my eyes, "I don't need to explain myself to you."

"You still love him Lucy." She said, shaking her head, a smug smirk on her face. "You can say whatever you want, it doesn't matter, you still love him."

"Screw you, Cass."

"See? You can't even deny it." The smirk still in place, but her eyes showed that she knew she had won. Well, fuck that. This bitch is dead to me.

"Cassie, you don't know anything! You haven't had a successful relationship in over a year!" Not entirely sure if this was true, but you know what I didn't a shit at this point.

"Because all of your relationships have worked out so well. Your boyfriend left you for your best friend!" My jaw dropped. Did she just- No. My eyes narrowed. Oh my god. This bitch can burn in hell. I can't believe she said that.

And apparently neither could Patrice.

"Cassie! What is wrong with you?" she scolded, slapping her in the arm. She turned to me, "Lucy, you know she didn't mean it."

"Patrice it's cool." I said in my 'I'm going to pretend it's okay now but you are so going to regret this later' voice. "And I don't care. If Brett wants to date Kendra, well good for him. I don't have any feelings left for him."

"You're so full of bullshit, Lucy." Cassie shook her head, before leaning back in her chair and texting away on her phone.

I don't know what the hell is up her butt right now. It's probably like an industrial sized tampon. And it's probably in sideways.

All I know is I'm going to kill her.

And you can bet it's going to be painful.

I sat back with Patrice and anyone could see how extremely uncomfortable she was in between me and Cassie.

"Lucy, what's the real reason you broke up with Brett?" Patrice asked me. "I mean you said it's cause you don't love him anymore. But you loved him yesterday, so something must have happened to make you decide this."

"Yeah, well I just- I don't know. I just started thinking and I always saw myself spending the rest of my life with Brett, but that's because I've only ever been with Brett. I think we started to kinda force our relationship because we had been together for so long. It just wasn't the same anymore."

"So, you really don't love him anymore?"

"Well, I'm always going to love him. I just don't think I'm in love with him anymore."

"And what she means by that is," Cassie jumped in, "she got bored so she decided to start drama so she could entertain herself for a few days."

"God Cassie, what is your problem? This has nothing to do with you!" I cannot believe this child.

"It doesn't matter! Everyone knows how obsessed you are with him. You're just going to keep playing these ridiculous games of yours, but Lucy, one day Brett is going to get tired of it and he won't be there to take you back."

"Cassie, shut up. Just fucking shut up."

"Ignore her Lucy," Patrice commanded, giving Cassie a glare. Was she actually defending me? Well where she lacked in beauty she made up with common sense. "Now c'mon, what really happened?"

I sighed and crossed my legs, turning to face her more. Was I seriously about to confess everything to the girl I made a personal goal to destroy in high school?

Yes, I was.

Only cause Cassie is being a bitch.

Well, that's what I'm going to tell myself…

"Ugh, I just. I don't know. We were always fighting. Always. You know we were. And like it used to be okay because we knew we loved each other underneath the anger but now, I don't know. I'm just sick of it. I love him, I do. But god dammit I want a relationship where I can talk to him for two minutes without getting into a fight. Brett and I are just too different." I finished, shrugging. It made sense and I was happy that I did it, why do people keep questioning me?

"Okay," Patrice said slowly, nodding. "I can respect that. It makes sense."

"Sure, it does. Lucy knows how to lie." Cassie said bitchily. This slut is going to force me to kill her.

"This has nothing to do with you Cassie, shut up." I snapped, completely done with her.

The silence was awkward after that. We could hear Brett and Evan whispering and they both looked so completely absorbed into their conversation it worried me a little bit.

"Hey, where's Kendra?" I asked, wanting to change the subject and get rid of the awkward tension.

"Oh she's in with Archie, talking to the doctor." Patrice answered stiffly, looking down at her hands.

"What's the matter, they won't release him today?" I asked, confused. My eyebrows knitted together. Gah! No Lucy, stop it! You're going to get wrinkles! I smoothed out my face. Okay, better. Confusion was going to ruin my perfect skin.

"No, they're going to release him in a couple days." Patrice's voice got quieter with each word.

"Then why do you look so depressed? That's a good thing, right?" I was so lost right now, and practically sweating with all the strength I had to use to prevent my eyebrows from moving. Damn wrinkles.

"Yes and no." She looked down, never letting her eyes leave the hideous carpet. "The doctor said that even though the surgery went well, he's nowhere near healed yet." Her voice cracked and she wiped a tear that had fallen from her eye.

"Oh." I responded quietly, not sure what to say.

She sniffed before standing. "I'm sorry I just- I have to see him."

She walked through the door and headed towards Archie's room. Evan saw her leave and followed behind her. Man, he's whipped. And for no reason! She won't even abuse her power over him. God, what a waste.

"Look at that Lucy. Kendra has to sit around and wonder whether or not her boyfriend will wake up in the morning. And you broke up with the man you're in love with because you don't wanna fight with him. Your life must really suck, huh?" she glared at me before standing and following Patrice and Evan.

Oh my god. Was she right? I love Brett. Yeah, but why didn't I want him back? I was so happy when I broke up with him.

But then again, I always did see us together forever. And I did have to break my best friend's heart to get him. And he was the only person willing to deal with my bitchiness. And he was always there. And the sex was amazing.

And that is never, ever a bad thing.

Oh my god I think I want him back.

I looked over to where he was sitting. He was texting someone on his phone, but otherwise was facing me. After a few seconds he closed his phone and looked up, his eyes meeting mine. I tried to give him a small smile, but he just rolled his eyes and went the same way the others did.

He was pissed.

There was no fucking denying it.

What the hell did I do?


	6. No One Said Love Was Easy

I sat in the waiting room for the next twenty minutes by myself. I hugged my knees to my chest and just sat there thinking. A total waste of time, I know. But I'm like fucking conflicted right now dammit.

What do I want? Do I want Brett back? And if I do, why was I so happy to break up with him?

Maybe Cassie was right. I mean our relationship was so far from boring, but it had suddenly become predictable. One of us would say something to piss the other off, then we'd fight and turn it into something bigger than it really was, and then we'd both be miserable until one of us caved, then we'd makeup and be okay until the cycle repeated the next day.

But that's what I loved about us.

And now I just ruined it.

Because I'm a bitch.

Which for the first time in my life is not a good thing.

She was right.

I had gotten bored with the same old thing, and decided to start drama to amuse myself, and expected Brett to be there waiting for me like he always was. But this time he wasn't.

She was right.

He had finally had enough and left. Just like everyone had always said he would.

Goddammit, I hate being wrong.

I need to talk to him. I need to fix this.

. . .

**Brett POV**

. . .

Cassie, Evan and I walked into Archie's room while Patrice and Kendra went to find a nurse.

I was so pissed off right now, it was borderline painful. I can't believe I put up with her shit for so long.

Always having to go shopping with her, always ditching my friends for her, having to comfort her for hours on end every time she thought someone was prettier than her, then getting yelled at for lying when I told her she was pretty. Every single time she kept me awake until four in the morning crying and screaming into the phone, blaming me for every problem in the world. Dealing with her insecurities and jealousy and bitchiness and possessiveness and constant fighting, and oh my god I am so glad this is over.

Now I'm not a total dick. When it first happened, I was crushed. I really loved her, but after thinking about it, this is so Lucy. Starting drama, and expecting me to be waiting for her when she's done. Well I'm done. I need to focus on my own life.

So I'm just gonna shake it off, and be my normal hot self and watch her realize how much she'll want me back.

Not like I want her back or anything. . .

Because I don't.

Because I'm so over her.

There's no way in hell I still love her.

I don't love her. . .

We're done.

She has no effect on me whatsoever.

Oh shit, I'm so in love with her it hurts.

. . .

**Cassie POV**

. . .

This is so fucking stupid.

They obviously love each other.

Everyone can see that.

But they're both too stubborn and self-centered to realize how much they need each other.

Eventually they're both going to realize they screwed themselves and are going to be a complete mess.

Brett will last longer than Lucy. He usually does. He knows how to take care of himself, make sure no one knows how badly he needs her. No one can comprehend why someone as strong and stable as Brett needs someone as mental as Lucy, but he really does. He loves her, for some strange reason. But he's got his pride and his image and he's not going to let anyone see how much he misses her.

But inside, he'll be fighting demons from hell.

Lucy however is probably already breaking down. She just needs something to do and entertain herself. Breaking up with Brett and seeing him miserable and admit he needs her is her favorite form of entertainment. Little bitch.

She's going to cry and scream and go through this big long self-loathing cliché speech about how no one loves her and be totally dramatic and since Brett's not going to be there to help her, guess who will have to be her shoulder to cry on?

It'll be me, goddammit.

No, you know what? I'll make Patrice do it, that bitch hasn't done enough. Plus, she's too nice to say no.

Ha, take that Patrice. It's your turn to have your shirt stained with ugly, black, mascara tears.

. . .

**Patrice POV**

. . .

Poor Lucy.

She continuously denies her love for Brett, but I know it's there.

I can read her, sometimes better than her giggly little worshipers.

Me and Lucy have never been close, in fact we have hated each other for years, but no person can be as self-centered as Lucy is. Once Brett and Evan became friends and I was forced into being around her, I realized how she hid her pain and covered the wounds with sarcasm and bitchy remarks.

It made me gain the slightest bit of respect for her.

Like the slightest bit.

I'm talking microscopic here.

So I can tell that even though there aren't tears running down her face, she's miserable.

She needs Brett.

They need each other. Brett calms Lucy down when she becomes hysterical and impractical, and Lucy keeps Brett grounded and makes him focus on things besides football and hair gel.

And by the looks Evan was giving me over Brett's shoulder, he wasn't taking it too good either.

They're so obviously soul mates. I mean who else will be willing to tolerate their huge egos?

They're just too stubborn to realize how much they love each other.

Even though I don't agree with a lot of their decisions, and I'm pretty convinced they have nothing in their heads except air and dead brain cells, they are in love.

And no matter how dumb, people in love deserve to be together.

. . .

**Lucy POV**

. . .

I sighed deeply and got off of my totally firm and toned cheerleading ass and headed for Archie's room.

I turned the corner and saw Kendra and Patrice sitting and talking to a nurse who was in desperate need of a nose job. They both looked emotionally drained and exhausted, that makes three of us.

As fun as fighting is, it takes a lot out of you.

But they both had huge smiles on their faces, bitches.

If I can't be happy nobody can.

I peeked into Archie's room and checked for doctors. None, just Brett, Evan, and Cassie talking to Archie and none of them looked too interested in the conversation, so I figured I'd make my move now.

I walked in and tried to not look hopelessly pathetic, and I succeeded because well hello, I'm the polar opposite of pathetic.

They both looked up when I walked. I gave a small smile to Archie and looked up at Brett. He didn't look mad, thank god, but he didn't look like he cared either.

Fuck my life.

Cassie raised her eyebrow at me, and I wanted to slap her because I can only imagine the things running through her head right now.

I decided to semi ease the tension before making it awkward all over again, so I went and stood at the end of Archie's bed.

"How ya feeling?" I asked, making my voice as sincere as possible, and it sounded believable because I'm just fucking awesome like that dammit.

"Fine, same as always." He shrugged, looking totally bored. But hey, I would too if I had to sit in a hideous hospital gown and stare at ugly ass interior decorating all day.

"Well I just saw Kendra and Patrice talking to a nurse, and they both looked happy, so that's gotta be good news." I smiled my sweetest smile.

"I guess so." He looked like he didn't believe it for a second, and I know it couldn't be me, because I used my most convincing smile. Though I'd never admit it, I did feel bad for the kid. I mean, c'mon this is his whole life.

It makes me really glad I'm as popular as I am.

I gave him another smile and gave up on the whole nice thing.

It's not really my strong suit.

"Brett," I turned to him. He raised his head in response, and knowing him, he couldn't give a shit about anything I would have to say. Great, so this is only going to be slightly harder than I expected. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I tried to sound sincere but not fake, but because he knew how I thought, I didn't know what to do.

"Right now?" he raised his eyebrows and a blind person would be able to see how much he didn't wanna be near me. Which I totally don't understand because I'm hot and I cannot think of a reason why anyone wouldn't wanna be around me.

"Yeah," I put my cutest face on and gave the small pout I knew he could never resist or deny me anything when I wore it. "It'll just be a minute."

"Whatever." Well he used to never be able to resist it. Resist me. Oh my god this like the fucking apocalypse. Hell has officially frozen over. How can he resist me? How can anyone resist me? I'm irresistible goddammit! "Back in a sec, man." He gave a slight wave to Archie and headed out of the room.

I followed him out, giving a small smile to Archie and pretended I didn't see the smug smirk on Cassie's face.


	7. The Guilt of True Love

We walked out into the hallway and I turned to look at him. He looked annoyed, no it was more bored. I think I even saw some anger in there. Great.

"What do you want Lucy?" he asked monotone. Great well this is intense déjà vu. Except I know this won't end well.

"Look Brett, before when I broke us up, I was just-"

"Yeah, about that." He cut me off, c'mon Brett say how much you love me. "You were right Lucy. We should have done this a long time ago. Our relationship was such a huge pain in the ass."

Well that was not what I was hoping for. I knew he didn't love me. What the fuck do I say to that?

"Oh, yeah." I stuttered unconvincingly. "I just wanted to make sure everything was cool between us. Ya know, like no awkwardness or anything." I lied, this was so not what I wanted to hear right now.

"No, everything's fine." He gave a half smile and I could tell he wanted to leave. Fuck my life. "We'll talk later, okay? I wanna go see Archie." He said over his shoulder as he walked back in the room.

Great, fan-fucking-tastic. My life sucks. He doesn't love me.

He doesn't love me.

. . .

**Cassie POV**

. . .

I saw Brett walk back in the room and tried to read his face, he gave nothing away, an expert trait he picked up from Lucy.

He rested back against the wall and talked with Archie until the doctor came in. He checked over Archie while me and Brett went to sit in the chairs they had on the other side of the room.

"What happened with Lucy?" I whispered.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "She wanted to get back together like I knew she would, but I'm so done with her crap I don't give a shit."

"Brett!" I can't believe this. "Why would you do that? Dammit, everyone knows you guys are perfect for each other! You seriously don't want her back?"

"Of course I do," he said sighing. "But she's gotta be taught a lesson. She can't just dump me whenever she gets bored and expect me to go running back to her."

"You guys are in love, and both have severe mental problems, flaws are bound to be there."

"Yeah, well I'm sick of having to deal with them." He ran his hand through his hair. "All I ever do is make sure she's happy and she never gives a shit about what I'm feeling, so why should I fucking bother?"

"Because you love her."

"Yeah, I do." He muttered, looking at the floor.

"You have to be with her Brett, I mean think about it, what other girl is going to tolerate your sick obsession with hair gel?" I said bitchy enough to make any cheerleader proud.

"Shut up." he said laughing, playfully hitting me.

"Go be with her Brett."

He looked like he was debating what to do, before standing up and walking towards the door. "I will." He called over his shoulder.

Yay, Cassie fixes yet another problem between Brett and Lucy.

. . .

**Lucy POV**

. . .

I didn't stop until I reached the bathroom. No one was in there thankfully; didn't they have those ugly ass bathrooms in the hospital rooms? Oh who I am kidding, I don't care.

I yanked the handicap stall door open slamming it closed and locking it, I fell to my knees. Tears leaked down my face, he doesn't love me.

A finger reached down my throat and I was staring at my lunch.

I sat panting over the toilet, tears flowing, blurring my vision. I heard Brett's voice over and over in my head.

He doesn't love me.

My finger reached down my throat again.

. . .

**Brett POV**

. . .

I was used to Lucy's drama, but this was like just weird. Was she like hiding or something? Where the hell did she go? I walked back into Archie's room and saw Cassie sitting reading a magazine in the corner and Archie watching some sci-fi movie. He's one unique kid.

Cassie looked up when I walked in, "Did you talk to her?" she asked, sitting up straighter.

"Nah," I shook my head, "I couldn't find her."

"Couldn't find her?" she asked in disbelief, "Couldn't you just call her?"

"Already did, went to voicemail."

"Brett, it's a hospital how many places could she possibly be I mean it's not like-" she gasped, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. "I know where she is."

"What? Where?" I asked, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Just come with me." She grabbed my wrist and rushed out the room, calling a not so sincere goodbye to Archie.

She rushed through the mildly empty halls, forcing me to practically run to keep up with her, she looked terrified.

Where the hell was she going? I had already been down her before and she wasn't anywhere near here.

She stopped suddenly in front of the bathroom, and ran in pretty much screaming "Wait here!"

What the hell could she be doing?

I stood in confusion for a few more seconds before Cassie came out. Her eyes watering, and her expression scared.

What the hell?

"Cass, what's wrong? Is-"

"She's in there throwing up Brett." She cut me off, "It looks like she's been in there for a while, too. She could barely hold herself up, and her skin looked pale as hell. She looks terrible and she can't stop crying, I hope you don't think she's taking advantage of you and being too dramatic now."

A tear slipped down her cheek and she turned and went right back into the bathroom.


	8. Getting Over The Bump

**Cassie POV**

I can't believe this is happening. Holy shit.

I mean, Lucy might not have been my favorite person today but seeing her like this killed me inside. She's battled this for so long, it kills me seeing her so broken.

This was so stupid. Brett and Lucy are obviously irrevocably and unconditionally (hell yeah Cassie, big words! Patrice taught me those…) in love with each other. Now this happens because Brett and Lucy are too stubborn to admit they were wrong.

Must I do everything?

After yelling at Brett and making him feel as guilty as he should, I turned on my heel and made my way back into the bathroom, only to hear a gagging sound.

Shit!

I ran to the nearest stall, and pried open the door, possibly breaking the lock, to see Lucy hunched over the toilet once again. Her weak fingers curled around the seat, not even bothering to hold back her hair any more.

She coughed and choked on what I can only assume to be vomit, and I quickly kneeled down beside her and gathered her hair and tied it expertly into a messy bun.

One problem out of the way, about twenty seven more to go.

After she was done, her hands remained on the seat, her grip getting tighter and tighter as another round of sobs racked through her body. Her black makeup filled tears leaked onto the floor and into her lap, she quickly starting gasping due to the lack of oxygen.

I grabbed her, despite her many protests, and pulled her towards me. Her head went onto the crook of my neck and her arms wrapped themselves tightly around my neck. I felt her wails vibrate throughout me and I couldn't help but die a little inside each time another tear fell.

Poor Lucy. One thing I do know for sure, I'm kicking Brett's ass for this.

After a few minutes, her crying slowed down so the tears flowed silently. Well, almost silently.

She sat up so she was sitting next to me and wiped some of the tears from her face. "He doesn't love me." She whispered, sending a whole other round of tears to fall.

"Yes, he does." I told her sternly, grabbing her hand. "He's just being stupid."

Stupid doesn't begin to cover it.

"No, he do-does-doesn't." she spit out, kneeling over the toilet and bringing her hand up once again.

"Oh no, Lucy don't you dare!" I shrieked grabbing her wrist and yanking her back down next to me. Her body caved in and she shook violently and tears of love and loss and pain and misery and need flowed from her bloodshot eyes. I had to hold her down when she tried to get up again, she started scratching and thrashing against me, trying to force her way up.

For the first time ever, it was a good thing she was so weak.

"Cassie, move!" she sobbed, "I have to! I need to do it, I need to, I need- I need- I need Brett!" She collapsed under me, her body being engulfed in the tears once again.

Somehow she summoned the strength and started pushing on me to get up again. Dammit when did this chic get so determined? She kept pushing. Leaving me no choice, I lightly smacked her cheek and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly.

"Lucy! Snap out of it. You don't need to do this. There's no reason to do it. You know there isn't. Just calm down." I shook her more harshly, and tried to get her to understand.

"No! I need to! I need to- I need-" the sobs cut her off and she started choking.

"Why? Why Lucy? Give me one good reason why you should do this?"

"Because Brett will love me!" she screamed, looking deep into my eyes. "If I do it then I'll be skinny, and skinny is pretty, and he won't love me unless I'm pretty!" she thrashed a few more times before giving up and slumping into a ball. "He won't love me unless I'm skinny." She whispered.

Alright Brett's officially dead to me.

I pulled her into my lap and slowly rocked her back and forth. I kissed the top of her head and squeezed her a little tighter. "Lucy," I whispered strongly, tears welling up in my eyes. "Brett loves you for you. Because of who you are." A few tears leaked down my cheek, seeing her like this was making me so emotional it was ridiculous. ""Not because of how much you weigh." I smoothed her head back and placed my hands on her cheeks so she could look me in the eyes. "You are beautiful and strong and don't let Brett or anyone ever make you believe otherwise."

She smiled softly and kissed my cheek before placing her head back on my shoulder. It was silent for a few minutes, the only sounds were our heartbeats and Lucy's occasional sniffling, other than that we sat as our tears silently fell. Both for different reasons, but both out of love.

"I love him, Cass." She whispered, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

"I know, Lucy. I know." I soothed, smoothing her hair back. "And he loves you too."

"Then why doesn't he wanna be with me?" she asked, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

"He does. He's just being stubborn." I promised. "He wants to be with you and he does love you, well at least that's what he told me." I added, knowing it'll get her attention.

"Really?" she asked smiling, ha, it worked. "He said that?"

"Yup. Now let's get out of here. I'll take ya home." I stood up and held my hand out to her, she took and we walked towards the bathroom door hand in hand.

Something dawned on me when Lucy grabbed the door handle, and I jumped in front of her.

"What?" she asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"If I know Brett, and I do, he's still going to be out there waiting for you. You ready for that or do you just want to leave?" I asked looking, at her carefully.

"He's ruined my life enough for one day, let's just go, I'll deal with it later." She answered, crossing her arms across her chest, as if to protect herself from more heartache.

"Very wise decision, malady." I answered very Patrice like. By that I mean very nerdy.

Lucy laughed and I yanked the door open. He was leaning against the wall, like I knew he'd be. I pretended not to notice how important his girl was to him. I didn't pretend not to notice how quickly the smile vanished from Lucy's face when she saw him.

"Luce, I-" Brett started, walking up to us.

"Lucy why don't you go wait for me by my car?" I cut him off, handing her my keys.

She nodded, grabbed the keys, and sent me the most grateful look I have ever seen Lucy where in my life. She slipped out without looking Brett, thank god, if she had she would have broken down again and there are only so many hysterical break downs I can take in one day.

"Cassie what the hell?" Brett demanded, stepping towards me, with anger in his eyes. "You're the one who told me to talk to her!"

"Yeah, I realize that Brett. But I just spent a half an hour comforting your hysterical ex-girlfriend because you broke her heart." I narrowed my eyes at him and felt anger surge through me, "I should smack you. Do you have any idea what you did to her? I haven't seen her like that in a long time. You really hurt her Brett."

"I know I did," he ran his hand through his hair, and I could have sworn I saw a tear in his eye. "I'm sorry, and she needs to know that. She needs to know I love her." He leaned back against the wall and put his head into his hands,

"Look you know she loves you. She's just a little shaken up right now. Just give her some time to think things through and get a grip on life and then talk to her, okay?"

As much as I completely hate to admit it, I did feel bad for him. I mean it was obvious how much he loved Lucy. He needed her, as weird as their relationship is, they really do fit together. They're completely and totally in love and I know how seeing Lucy like that tears Brett up inside.

Last time she caved into her disorder, Brett spent three days straight with her making sure she ate and didn't throw up again. He was terrified and wanted nothing more than for her to be okay.

I can only imagine what he must be feeling now.

. . .

**Brett POV**

. . .

Oh my god. I can't believe this has happened. My poor, poor baby.

Oh, Lucy. I feel horrible for everything and I would give anything to go back and change what happened.

My heart is breaking at just the thought of her doing that to herself.

I could hear her and Cassie from the inside of the bathroom, and every time she screamed I had to resist the urge to run to her.

Every time she cried, or screamed, or threw up again, tears welled up in my eyes.

Does she not realize how much I love her?

My girl is hurting and it's all because of me.

I will never be able to make up for this.

And I'll never stop trying.


	9. All Friends Need Girl Time

I waited in Cassie's car, spread out in the backseat, and tried to form coherent thoughts while staring at the ugly tan ceiling.

Did I want Brett back?

Well, fuck yeah.

But right _now_?

I don't know.

Once I got out of that bathroom, I was able to think more clearly. It was always like that, once I get out of the bathroom and I don't have the option to throw up, I can think again. When I'm in there, disposing the content of my stomach is my only thought.

I mean, I love Brett, I really, really, do. But before today, it was the longest time I had gone without throwing up. But I did today, because of him. And now that I think about it, every time I had thrown up recently, was because of him.

I love him, but is it worth dying over?

My heart and my head say yes, but there's something pulling at me, telling me to not forgive him so easily.

And I don't want to forgive him easily. I really don't, if I had to suffer through that, and ask anyone who's gone through that, it's never fun, and you never get used to it, he should have to suffer too.

And if what Cassie said is true, then he does wanna get back together. So if I make him wait for a few days, make him suffer a little, he'll still be ready to get together after he's suffered and I've had my fun.

Cause c'mon Brett ain't as heartless as he pretends to be, he knows what he did to me, and I know how guilty he must feel. So, why not make him feel as guilty as he should?

My plotting was interrupted by flinging the door open and shoving the keys into the ignition. I sat up and somehow made my way into the passenger seat, narrowly avoiding kicking Cassie in the face twice.

"Very graceful." She smirked. .

"Psshhh you know it." I retorted, the bitchiness not quite fully there

"What's wrong, Lucy?" Cassie asked, pulling out of the parking lot. "You're not your usual level of bitch." She finished, pouting.

See how she picks up on everything? It scares me. What else does she know?

"I'm plotting revenge on Brett." I answered with a proud, cheeky grin.

"Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows and smiling as well. "Ah, well I'm intrigued. Tell me more."

"Well, he wants us to get back together, right?" I asked hesitantly, if he didn't well there goes my brilliant plan.

"Lucy, that boy is so in love with you it's painful to watch."

"That doesn't answer my question!" I panicked.

"Yes, Lucy." She answered, rolling her eyes. "He does want to get back together."

"Okay, good." I smiled. "Then I'll just make him wait a few days and see how mad it makes him."

"I love how you two make it a personal goal to piss the other off." She said, smiling.

"What? He's sexy when he's mad." I answered, shrugging. "Plus the angry sex has never not been good."

"You're crazy, Lucy." She laughed, shaking her head.

"But you love me." I answered, smiling at her.

"Yeah for some reason I'm not sure of."

I smacked her arm and laughed. "Hey! No hitting the lady that's driving!" she shrieked.

And we both just laughed harder.

. . .

**Cassie POV**

. . .

We pulled into Lucy's driveway a few seconds later, and saw Molly leaning on her car.

"What's Molly doing here?" Lucy asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"I asked her and Charlotte to come over for a while. Kendra had to stay at the hospital, but she said she'd come over later if Archie's okay." I answered, taking the keys out and opening the door before stepping out. "I figured you could use some girl time."

. . .

Lucy POV

. . .

I smiled graciously at her and went over to hug Molly. She squeezed me tightly and kissed the top of my head before pulling back and saying, "Okay, where's the asshole? I'm gonna kick Brett's ass."

"I'm guessing you know what happened." I answered, amused. Gotta love my girls.

"Yeah, I told them." Cassie said, also giving Molly a hug. We walked towards the house, and I took the key out of my purse to open the side door.

One of the major upsides to having parents who don't give a shit about their kid, they're never home. It kicks ass. When I was younger I hated being passed from nanny to nanny, but now it's nice.

I'd never admit it to anyone, not even Brett or Kendra, but that's why I'm a bitch. My parents never cared, so I had to love myself, and because of that I'm more than a little self-centered.

Now I like the quiet. I'm able to have Brett over whenever I feel like it and not worry about my parents walking in, my girls can come over whenever, I'm pretty damn sure half of them have a key, and I'm able to have some sick parties.

It's got its upsides.

We headed towards the basement, where we usually hang out, before plopping down on the couch.

Molly grabbed the remote for the sound system and turned on some intensely upbeat pop song.

The dancer never stops dancing.

I ended up with my head in Cassie's lap and one leg in Molly's with the other hanging off the couch.

"So how are ya, Luce?" Molly asked, her blonde hair fanned out around her shoulders.

"Okay, I guess. I mean it sucks, but I don't really have control over it. Once I get it in my head, there's no stopping it." I shrugged; I really don't know how to explain it. Unless you have the disorder, it's almost impossible to understand.

"Well, we're for ya baby." Molly said smiling. "And Brett will be too, once I'm done beating the shit out of him." She finished, with a proud nod and smile.

"Don't you dare touch him Molly!" I instructed, slapping her arm, knowing she would indeed kick his ass. "Well, at least let me do it first, and then you can join in when I get tired." I laughed.

"Deal." She smiled, laughing as we shook hands on it. I could feel Cassie laughing and right before she was about to say something, the doorbell rang.

"That's probably Charlotte." Cassie said, still laughing a little.

"I got it," I said, getting up and making my way upstairs.

I half ran to the door, as she rang the bell another six times. Like all of us, patience is not her strong suit.

I yanked open the door to see her eyes glued to the phone, they snapped up when the door was completely open and a look of pity and concern flashed through them. She held her arms out straight, almost zombie like and wiggled her fingers.

"Hug?" she asked in a baby voice, her lips pouting and her eyes wide and innocent.

I laughed and let her pull me into her arms. She pulled back and grabbed my hand and we made our way back downstairs, "He's a douche bag." She told me, squeezing my hand. "He's not worth it, Lucy. Don't ever think he's worth hurting yourself."

I gave her a small smile and opened the basement door before walking down the stairs.

. . .

**Molly POV**

. . .

"So tell me everything." I demanded at Cassie, once I was sure Lucy was out of hearing distance. I haven't heard the whole story yet, but I know Lucy threw up and Brett hurt Lucy, so that's enough to make me eternally pissed at Brett.

"Okay, well btw this day has been full of drama," she answered, sighing. "Well first off, Lucy and Brett got into a fight about you texting hum last night," she paused to glare at me, oh shit. "Which quickly escalated into the 'you love Kendra more than me fight,'" I just nodded, because c'mon they have this fight four times a day. "Then he started apologizing and that's when me and Patrice got there and we talked to her while Brett talked to Evan and then things were sorta okay." Form the tone she was using I knew things were far from okay.

"Then Lucy had this out of body experience and decided her and Brett don't love each other anymore, and they need to break it off before they waste any more time in their life. So she dumped him." My eyes widen. Did she really? She wouldn't…

"No she didn't." I contradicted disbelievingly.

"Yup, you should of heard her Moll, it was one of the weirdest things I've ever heard come out of her mouth." She shook her head and I could tell she was still mad, most likely at Brett.

"Then what happened?"

"Well then she realized how much she fucked up and wanted him back, but then when she talked to him to get him back, he said no." she rolled her eyes, annoyance rolling off of her.

"He said no?" I shrieked. "What do you mean he said no? He's never able to say no to her!"

"I know!" she agreed, flipping her hair. "He was a total ass today."

"So? What'd she do?" I asked, scared to know the answer.

"Well then I yelled at him for a good ten minutes, and he realized how much he fucked up and wanted her back, but he couldn't find her and that's when I walked in on her puking her guts out." She winced slightly. I don't blame her; we've all seen Lucy do it. Whether we walked in on it, or pulled her back to make her stop, seeing someone you love so much do something like that is just terrible. And it sticks with you forever.

"Oh god, poor Lucy." I held back tears, Lucy would be coming down any minute and she needed support and love. Crying would be the complete opposite of helpful.

"I know. I swear to God I wanted to kill Brett today." Cassie snarled. "I mean whenever he hurts her I wanna kill him, but today, it was like he knew what it would do to her but he didn't care."

"Yeah, I know." I added. "When I got your text I felt like I wanted to track him down and set him on fire."

She laughed lightly at my mazing sense of creativity and we hugged before hearing Lucy and Charlotte's footsteps caused us to pull apart.

"Well, well, well, look what the bitch dragged in," I teased, grinning at Charlotte.

"Oh shut up," she laughed, giving me and Cass a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"So, is anyone else in favor of starting an 'I hate Brett' fan club?" she asked, feigning seriousness.

Good she's as mad as we are.

"You know I'll join, bitch," I smiled.

"I'll be the president," Cassie added laughing.

"Guys, stop." Lucy moaned pulling a pillow over her face and sinking into the couch. We pulled her into a group hug and murmured our apologies.

She may be a bitch, but she's our bitch. She's our sister and after what happened to day, she needs our love.

No matter what happens, we're there for her.

"Hey, Luce? Can you come upstairs with me for a minute? I wanna grab a soda." I lied.

"Sure." She nodded, leading the way up the stairs.

She headed for the kitchen when we got to the top, but I pulled her back and shut the basement door.

"Look Lucy, I gotta talk to you." I said, the confusion on her face only getting bigger. "I feel really bad about texting him last night, it was late and I was bored, I never thought-"

"Molly, it's cool," she cut me off, shrugging. "I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, but if I hadn't texted him you guys wouldn't have been fighting and nothing would have happened today."

"Moll, we fight over everything. We would have found something else to fight about today." She said smiling; she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I freaked today and did something stupid, which led to a long chain of stupid events." She added laughing. "Which is in no way your fault." She finished, her smile getting bigger.

I smiled back and pulled her in for a hug, "I just want you to be okay, Lucy." I whispered, holding her tighter against me.

"And I will be, Moll. It's just gonna take a while." She responded, grabbing my hand again, "C'mon let's go back downstairs before they think we're having some sort of lesbian romance." She laughed.

"Right behind ya," I followed her down the stairs, and smiled, knowing Lucy was going to be okay.

**A/N:**

**Okay I want to apologize for the delay; hopefully I will have new chapters at least once a week now.**

**Hope the story meets everyone's expectations.**

**Please review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	10. The Best Part of Break Ups

**Lucy POV**

I hugged them goodbye one last time before having them walk out into the driveway. My girls had helped a bunch and it feels good knowing I can actually think clearly again.

Despite other people's beliefs, there is more than just knowledge on cheerleading and clothes going on in this fabulous head of mine.

I walked back into the kitchen and sat down on the island stool. Another perk of having neglecting parentals, we're pretty damn rich.

I grabbed my phone and held down the red button to turn it on. Kendra texted Cassie a little while ago saying she couldn't leave the hospital, so I wanna make sure everything is okay down there.

Not that I'd get the chance, the minute it turns on I'm flooded with missed messages.

27 missed calls, 14 text messages, and 6 voicemails, all from Brett.

And people say I'm clingy.

And these weren't short little messages either, these texts were like reading a book and when the voicemail cut off he was still talking.

I wanted to call him back, but honestly, I'm a little mad now. Before I was just depressed as hell, but now that I've had time to think about it, I'm pissed.

I'm not just going to go running back to him after what he put me through. He doesn't realize how much that tore me up. It had been a good two or three months since the last time I caved, and now that's gone.

I can't get that back, no matter how many times he apologizes.

I know we'll end up together in the end, like we always do, but is it so wrong to want him to suffer for a little bit first?

I walked into the living and sprawled out on the couch. I closed my eyes and tried to think happy thoughts, but of course, none came to me.

Today was one of the hardest days in a long time. Obviously I don't take rejection too well. Especially from Brett.

As spoiled as I am, Brett has never denied me anything. Mostly because he didn't want to start a fight, but regardless he never said no. I'd always asked him why, and he would just shrug and say I was his girl.

Not that I didn't love that, it just meant when he did say no, it hurt that much more.

I drifted into a calm sleep, knowing that things would work themselves out and everything would fall back into place.

Until, a repeated pounding on my front door woke me up.

I stumbled over to the door in a haze, pulling it open I rubbed my sleepy eyes, probably smudging the makeup that was caked onto my face.

I instantly regretted that when I realized I was face to face with Brett.

"What are you doing here?" I asked annoyed. I just wanted some space and he decides to come here and suffocate me.

"Are your parents' home yet?" he asked, dodging the question.

"Uh, no. Not yet. Why?" I asked confused, it was too late and I was too tired to do this.

"You shouldn't left alone, Luce. Why aren't you with Kendra or one of the girls?" he asked, leaning on the door frame.

"Kendra is still at the hospital, and the other girls left. I'm a big girl Brett, I don't need a babysitter." I ran my hands through my hair, waiting for him to leave.

He just tilted his head and gave me the '_you know what I meant_' look.

"Okay, it's late, and you're obviously not saying anything productive, so goodbye. I'll talk to you later." I snapped, moving to slam the door in his face, but his goddamn football player strength held it open.

"No, Lucy listen to me. We gotta talk." He instructed, his eyes searching through mine.

"What do you want?" I half snarled at him.

"I'm sorry, okay? I had no idea that would happen, babe. I'm so, so sorry. I was stupid I-"

"What else is new, Brett?" I cut him off in annoyance. "You're always doing something stupid, and it always ends up hurting me and we always end up right back here."

"Lucy, look I know I fucked up, alright?" he placed his index finger under my chin to tilt my head up so he could see my eyes, but I smacked his hand away, and kept my eyes focused on anything but his eyes. "I'm sorry. I really am, baby. It killed me, knowing what you were doing to yourself." His eyes had concern in them but I didn't give a shit at the moment.

Something inside of me snapped. That's all he has to say after today? I narrowed my eyes and felt the anger bubble up.

"It killed you? Really? Imagine doing it Brett. You don't think it killed _me_? You don't think it killed me knowing you didn't want me?" I felt tears well up, but I swallowed them back. Like hell he'll see me cry now.

"Babe, I do want you. I was just mad and-"

"Yeah you were mad and I was left heartbroken on the bathroom floor. I can only imagine the heartache you must have gone through today." I glared at him before slamming the door before he could protest and locked it.

"Lucy!" I heard him pounding on the door as I made my way into the living room. "Open the goddamn door!"

"Go away Brett!" I shrieked, collapsing back on the couch.

I heard nothing after that, and was relieved the fight was over for now.

Until I saw him walking around the house through the living room window.

Shit.

I left the sliding door open in the kitchen.

I got up and sprinted my way back into the kitchen. I got to the door the second he did, and he pushed his way in as I pushed him out. Our chests were touching and his hand was on the door handle, destroying any chance I had of keeping him out.

He smirked and leaned on the door frame once again, "Nice try, baby."

"Ugh!" I shrieked, stepping into the middle of the kitchen and running my hands through my hair furiously. "Why can't you just get the hell out? We're broken up, I don't want you anywhere me!"

"Lucy you tell me that when we're together. And just like then, I'm not listening." He smirked, and made his way into the kitchen.

"Brett." I said calmly, trying not to explode. "I don't have the energy to deal with this right now. Just go, and we can do this later, okay?"

"Nope." He smirked tauntingly, "I'm not leaving until you forgive me."

"I'm not forgiving you, Brett. You don't deserve forgiveness." I said bitchily, leaning against the counter.

"Okay, Lucy. Whatever you say. I'll be forgiven any minute now." His smirk stayed in place, and I'm starting to think it'll be there permanently. Not that I'll mind, he's so sexy when he smirks like that, and his hair is like _perfect_ right now and- focus Lucy. You're mad remember?

"You wish." I responded, rolling my eyes.

"Luce, c'mon. Just hear me out." He pleaded walking forward and engulfing my tiny hands in his big ones. I sighed, but didn't pull away. Might as well let him talk, I'll have to listen sooner or later.

"Fine, what do you want?" I asked, totally over this whole day.

"Luce, I'm so sorry about today. I'd take it all back if I could. I just want us to be okay. I love you, baby." He declared, bringing my hand up to his lips and squeezing the other one.

I looked at him skeptically, trying to decide if this was all bullshit or if he actually meant any of it.

"I love you too." I finally muttered, my eyes looking up into his blue ones that I love so much.

He smiled and pulled me into his arms. "I was so scared, Lucy." He whispered in my ear, kissing the side of my head.

"I'm fine, Brett." I whispered back, reassuringly.

"I know, thank god." He held me even tighter. "But when Cassie told me where you were… and what you were doing. I was terrified, Lucy."

I pulled back far enough just to look in his eyes. "I'm fine, I am." He smiled and nodded before leaning down kissing me sweetly on the lips.

"So does this mean we can have sex again?" he asked after pulling away.

"Way to ruin a perfectly sweet moment, asshole." I scolded, smacking him.

"Sorry," he laughed. "Seriously, though. We cool now?"

I looked into his eyes and felt myself melt just like I did when we were thirteen, and I knew I couldn't resist him for long.

"Yeah, we're cool." I smiled as he pulled me in for another kiss.

**A/N:**

**So here's chapter 10.**

**Please, please, please review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	11. Just Another Obstacle

I stirred slightly, and blinked, opening my eyes to the harsh rays of sun streaming through my bedroom window. I felt Brett stir beside me, but he didn't wake, just tightened his grip around my waist.

I laid back against his chest and thought about last night.

After we had fixed things out in the kitchen we made our way upstairs to my bedroom and made up the way we always do after a fight.

It was ten thirty on a Sunday morning, I was with Brett, and we were back together. Life is looking up.

So why do I still feel so sad? Damn hormones.

I turned in his arms so I was facing him. I kissed his cheek and placed my head in the crook of his neck.

A smile crept onto my face as his arms squeezed me tighter and he started placing sweet kisses across my neck, his eyes never opening.

I moaned as he pushed me onto my back and slowly moved to hover over me, his lips neck leaving my neck. His lips moved to my jaw, his tongue leading a trail to my ear. He nibbled on my ear before taking the lobe into his mouth, and a whimper escaped my lips.

He kissed my cheek before pulling back and whispering in my ear, "Morning, baby."

"Mmmm morning." I moaned, pulling his mouth down to mine. Our lips moved together, silently reminding the other of how much we loved them and how we both wished we could put the day before behind us for good.

But I knew that wouldn't be able to happen.

I pulled back ad rested my forehead on his. His hand brushed the hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear and kissed my nose. He rolled so we were both lying on our side.

"You okay, baby?" he asked after a few minutes of silence. I snapped my eyes to his, after realizing I was blanking out and staring into space.

"Yeah," I nodded, my eyes wide, just like they always are when I'm lying and I know he can see through it. "Mhmmm, course everything's okay."

"_Lucy_…." He trailed off, his lips kissing my jaw.

"Fine." I sighed, no point lying to him if he is gonna know I'm lying. "We need to talk, Brett."

His lips left my jaw and his head fell back on the pillow. "What's wrong, Luce?"

I rolled onto my back knowing this will be easier if I'm not looking him in the eye.

"I know I said we were cool last night Brett, but…" I trailed off hoping he would say something.

He didn't.

So I took a deep breath and continued. "Brett you really hurt me yesterday, and that isn't something I can just forget."

"You don't want to be together?" he asked, and so he doesn't guilt me into anything, I'm gonna pretend I don't hear the hurt in his voice.

"No! I do, I just," I through my hand over my eyes and sighed. Why was this so hard? "I don't know if I do." I finished quietly.

"I'll go with whatever you want Lucy," he whispered. "Whatever keeps you healthy." He added, almost inaudibly.

He can never make anything easy.

"But that's the thing. You make me happy, but…" I shook my head trying to deny what I was about to say. "You're the only one that makes me throw up." I whispered, afraid of his reaction.

"Lucy, I am so, so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Don't throw up, baby. You're beautiful. Please, I am so sorry." He pleaded, and I turned my head so I was facing him and instantly regretted it. His eyes were full of love and concern and how can I deal with this when he cares so much?

I interrupted his rant with a kiss, not sure if it would be the last for a long time. "Brett, stop. I'm not blaming you. Okay?"

"But Luce, if you're not-"

"Look, I don't wanna be this girl anymore okay? I don't wanna be the pathetic girl who has to go throw up because she has no self-esteem. I need to get through this, Brett. I'm sorry, but-"

I took a deep breath and blinked back tears, why was this so damn hard?

"I need to get over this, but I can't be with you until I'm stable." I looked back at his eyes and saw the pain he masked so well. "I'm sorry, but I need to-"

"Don't apologize, Luce. I'll do whatever makes you safe." He answered, brushing the hair out of my face, and damn I'm gonna miss that.

"Okay, thank you. Not just for this, but for everything." I murmured, not sure how much longer I could blink back the tears, they were coming and I didn't need him to see them.

"No problem, babe." He smiled.

"So… I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll see you later?" wasn't the best excuse, but it'll do.

"Sure." He replied, grabbing his phone and car keys. "I'll talk to you later, Luce." He said, coming over and giving me one last hug. "Please eat something." He begged, after pulling away.

"I will," I reassured, making my way into the bathroom. I gave him one last smile and shut the door and locked it.

I went towards the shower and turned the knob until the water was scalding. I began peeling off my clothes, before groaning when I realized I was wearing one of Brett's old football jerseys.

Great.

I made my way into the shower, but before I could do anything productive, the tears began to fall. One by one, the salty liquid covered my face, as my chest heaved in need of more oxygen.

My back hit the shower wall and I slid down, holding my knees to my chest.

Why did it have to be this way? What I said was true, I'm sick of the rumors and the gossip and having everyone label me as 'the one with bulimia.' I was more than that, and I wanted people to finally see it.

But Brett was the love of my life, how could I say goodbye to that?

_But he's the one who makes you throw up._

The voice in my head taunted. It is true; the only time I have ever slipped is when something happened between me and Brett.

So maybe this is a good thing, I'll become more stable and we'll be together after this whole mess is over with.

I wiped the tears from my face and gave up on showering, I stepped out and grabbed towel, wincing as the fabric rubbed against my now red skin from the hot water.

I squeezed my hair out in the sink and walked back into my room, searching for my phone.

**1 new text message: Brett**

Once again, great.

Curiosity got the best of me as it often does and I opened up the message.

**hey luce. hope ur ok. please eat. love you. **

For the umpteenth time, great.

How am I supposed to respond to that?

I don't know, so I didn't.

Oh yeah, ex-girlfriend of the year right here.

I knew I had to tell my girls what happened, but I really didn't feel like calling all of them, so I just texted Charlotte.

**tell every1 2 meet at mall in 1 hour**

Yeah, that'll get to them.

Charlotte was like a god at texting. Her fingers were super speedy, like legit, it's intense.

I quickly got dressed not really paying attention to what I wear; well paying more attention than Patrice cause c'mon I mean have you seen what she wears?

Some of it is downright scary. Ah, poor Evan. I bet she threatens him, and that's why they're together.

I started blow drying my hair but then I heard a ringing and realized Charlotte was calling me.

I grabbed my phone and pressed send. "Hello?"

"Mission accomplished, Lucy." She beamed, and I could tell she was proud of herself. "Everyone knows and will be at the mall in an hour."

I laughed. "I knew I could count on you, babe."

"Of course, you always can." I could practically hear her smile. "But I do have one question though…"

"And I probably have an answer, _unless_ it's about Patrice's hair. I really don't know what's up with that, like is it even real?"

"Omg I know right? Like sometimes it looks straw and then- ok off topic!" I laughed, she was almost as out of it as Kendra. "Why are we all spontaneously heading to the mall? And so early? Usually you're still asleep at this time."

"What? I can't shop with my friends without being questioned?"

"Lucy, what's going on?" she asked, her tone lighter.

I sighed, might as well tell her, I'm gonna tell her later anyway. "Brett came by last night, and I need to talk to the four of you."

"Ohmygod what happened? Are you two…?" she trailed off.

"It's a long story, and I'll tell you everything later, I promise." And this promise I actually intend on keeping.

"Well, okay." She sounded unsure, "Are you okay?"

"No, but I think I will be." I know I will be, just not anytime soon.

"Well that's the spirit! Good attitude Lucy! Just think positive!"

And people wonder why she's our best cheerleader.

I laughed. "Okay Charlotte, will do. I gotta go, I'll see you later?"

"Yes, you will." She giggled. "Later, girl."

"Later." I smiled and put down the phone.

Leave it to Charlotte to brighten my shitty day.

**A/N: this is a brett/lucy story so they will be getting back together in the future, I promise.**

**So please don't flood my inbox in an angry protest like last time.**

**Please review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	12. Getting Past the Hurdle

After creating the beauty that is my hair, I went downstairs and grabbed my car keys off of the counter. I headed to my car, but was stopped once I saw Molly's car in my driveway and Molly coming straight towards me.

"What are you doing here?" I laughed, giving her a hug.

"Well after getting your emergency meeting text message from Charlotte I figured you'd want a ride to the mall." She smiled, dressed adorably as usual.

"Thanks." I laughed again, gotta love my friends.

"So we've got time," she said leaning on the hood of her car and crossing her arms. "Why don't you tell me what's up."

"It's nothing, Molly." I protested, avoiding her eyes.

"That's a lie and we both know it."

I shook my head and opened my mouth to answer her but the tears ran down my face and speaking was just not possible anymore.

Everything that had happened an hour ago, flashed through my mind and it killed me. The tears wouldn't stop flowing and Molly ran towards me, engulfing me in her arms, a confused expression plastered on her face.

She slowly led me to her car, and she sat me down on the hood next to her. I thought I finally got myself together enough to be in public without breaking down and here I am having a hysterical break down.

Brett was my life, and as much as I loved him, I never want to live through what I lived through yesterday again, and I know saying goodbye and getting a hold of this disorder is the quickest way to do that.

It just hurts like hell. And hell hurts, trust me. I'm pretty damn sure I'm from there.

"Lucy, baby, tell me what's wrong." Molly pleaded, trying to get me to look at her. I knew I couldn't it in any longer so I told her everything. Brett coming over, what we talked about, that I broke up with him, that I'm trying to get rid of the bulimia, everything.

"Oh, Lucy." Molly comforted, "I'm so sorry, doll. But you know what? When this whole thing blows over you and Brett will be happy and you'll be healthy and everything will be worked out." She smiled a small smile, "I promise."

"Thanks." I laughed at the repetition; didn't I go through same thing yesterday? "But you should have seen his face Moll, he look devastated." I shook my head and choked back more tears, feeling terrible I hurt him.

"Brett is strong Lucy, he'll be okay. All he wants is for you to be okay, that's what we all want, and that's what you are going to focus on."

"Okay," I nodded, knowing the sooner this works out, the sooner I'll be with Brett again. "Okay." I clarified, more to reassure myself.

"Okay," she agreed, smiling. "C'mon let's get you inside and I'll tell the other girls to meet us here instead, okay?"

"Sounds good," I said, sliding off of the hood and making my way into the house. This was going to be a long _day._

**. . . **

**Kendra POV**

**. . .**

Poor Lucy. Charlotte called me last night after she left Lucy's and I could just feel my heart break at what Lucy went through.

I made sure Archie was okay, and as much as I loved him, I knew I needed to be with Lucy right now.

Molly called me to tell me to meet her at Lucy's house instead of the mall and I knew something was up the minute I heard Lucy sniffling in the background. Poor, poor Lucy. I knew she hated being pitied but this is just terrible.

After everything her and Brett have been through, to add this to the list, it seems almost cruel.

All I can do is hope they will be okay together.

They deserve some happiness.

**. . .**

**Cassie POV**

**. . . **

I can't believe this.

After _everything_ she went through yesterday she dumps him _again_? This doesn't seem like her.

We're all over to comfort her, but I'm biting my tongue. We were all in her room but when she got up to go downstairs for something, I snuck out and followed her.

I needed to talk to this girl.

"Save it, Cass." She said, lackadaisical, as she walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet.

"What? I didn't say anything." I pouted innocently.

"But I know what you're going to say, so don't. I've already thought this through." She sounded pretty sure of everything, but after everything that happened, to go back to not having him, it was very un-Lucy like.

"I just wanna know why." I said softly.

"Because I am sick, Cassie. Mentally sick and I am tired of it. So, if being aware form the one I love for a little while will make me mentally stable and healthy, I will suffer through." She turned to face me, complete seriousness plastered on her features.

"Oh, well how surprisingly well thought of you…" I responded, slightly suspicious and doubting she came up with on her own.

"Why is everyone so surprised I have intelligence?" she asked, feigning offence. "First Patrice, now you? God, people."

"Hey, calm down, everyone is stupid compared to Patrice, she's like a human encyclopedia." I smirked.

"True that, sister dear, true that." She laughed.

**. . .**

**Lucy POV**

**. . . **

I'm hoping Cassie will finally understand and quit nagging me about this. It's hard enough without her questions. I know this is the right thing to do, and Brett will still be there. Because he loves me.

He loves me.

While me and Cassie were finishing our 'Let's Bash Patrice' session, Kendra, Molly, and Charlotte walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Lucy," Charlotte started hesitantly, almost scared. What the fuck? "Eddie just texted me and wanted to know if he wanted to meet the guys at dairy queen…"

"Uh, yeah sure." I said reassuringly, even adding a smile. Might as well get this over with, no matter how painful it'll be. Damn, I'm dreading this. "That's cool, I guess."

"Really?" she looked shocked, and so did everyone else.

"Guys, I'm gonna have to see him eventually. Might as well start now." Whooo! Score for the new mature Lucy!

"Okay…" she pulled out her phone and began texting away before putting it back in her pocket and smiling in record. "I told them we'd meet them in a half hour."

Well this was certainly going to be interesting.

**A/N: chapter 12, kinda a filler chapter, but a chapter none the less. **

**Please review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	13. The Plan Backfires

"You sure you can handle this?" Kendra asked me, grabbing my hand. "You don't have to do this if you're not ready."

We were sitting in the Dairy Queen waiting for the guys to come and my heart was beating so fast I thought my chest was going to explode. They all sat, staring at me with skeptical eyes, watching my every move. They all had tiny cups of ice cream, because hello, cheerleaders. And I just had a bottle of water.

I promised Brett I wouldn't throw up, I never say inhale hundreds of disgusting calories.

"Ken, I'm fine. It's not like I can avoid him for the rest of my life." As easy as that would be…

"Just making sure you're okay, Luce."

They all exchanged looks and seriously? I need to teach girls discretion.

Oh yeah. I know that word.

…Alright so Patrice taught me it.

It still counts!

Screw you.

We heard a small bell and I turned in my seat so I was facing the door, shit they're here. I turned back around and prayed to god he didn't see me. If we avoided eye contact maybe I can get through this.

A chorus of 'heys!' and 'Whatsups?' filled the room as the obnoxious boys I'm forced to call friends entered the dairy queen.

Molly and Cassie got up to hug them while the rest of us stayed in our chairs and made them lean down to hug us. Like hell, I'm getting up for these losers.

They grabbed a table and sat it next to ours, and that's when my eyes met _his_. Great. He sat across from me and was staring at me with so much love in his eyes I thought I was going to explode.

We all began talking but I couldn't pay attention. For the first time in my life I had nothing to say. I just stared into space. Luckily Kendra noticed my distress and grabbed my hand under the table, and squeezing it lightly.

God bless her.

The guys got up to order and Kendra turned towards me, "Are you alright?" she asked, her face so sympathetic I had to hug her.

"Not even close." I whispered, squeezing her tighter before pulling back.

"Come with me," she responded, keeping her hold on my hand and leading me towards the tiny ass bathroom this place had.

Unfortunately the bathroom door was by the end of the counter where the guys were. Before we could get to the safe haven that was the girls' bathroom, Brett grabbed my other wrist and turned me to face him.

"You promised me you would eat," he whispered, his eyes concerned.

I turned to towards Kendra, "I'll be there in a minute, Ken." She nodded and smiled, and sent Brett a _look_, before stepping into the bathroom.

"Lucy." He whispered harshly, turning my back around.

I didn't say anything, just looking at him brought the tears back but I knew I couldn't let them out here. Aggravated with my lack of response he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Lucy, you promised me you would eat something."

"And I did. I didn't promise to eat thousands of calories at dairy queen, I ate before we got here." Well there goes lie number one.

"Did you really?" he asked, raising his eyebrows skeptically.

"_Yes!_ Go ask Molly." Well now I have to tell Molly to lie for me. Oh well, she'll do it.

"Okay," he nodded, running his fingers through his hair again, "Okay."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything.

"Yeah," I dragged the word out, slowly walking backwards to the bathroom. "I'll talk to you later." I finished awkwardly before turning around and practically running in.

Kendra looked up from where she was in the corner, texting on her phone and worry crossed his face, "What happened?"

"Nothing, he wanted to know if I ate." I said nonchalantly, but inside my stomach was flipping at the fact that he cared.

"Aw, well at least he cares." Kendra cooed, pulling me in for a hug and I swear to God these girls are learning to read my mind.

"Yeah," I muttered, forcing a smile. She pulled away and tilted her head, pouting slightly, her hands still on my shoulders.

"What's the matter, Lucy?"

"I just," I ran my hand through my hair, the habit I picked up from Brett. "I was so sure this would work out but, how can it be working if it hurts so much?" I walked backwards until my back hit the wall and I sank to the floor, gripping my knees to my chest.

"Lucy, you have a problem, and you're going to fix it." She came and sat next to me, grabbing my hand again. "And then you're good again, Brett will be there waiting for you and you two will be happy again."

"You're right," I smiled, I thought of this, _of course_ it'll work out.

"I know," she smiled sweetly, gave me a quick hug, and stood up, pulling me with her.

I smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. Kendra opened the door and walked out, holding it open for me. Life was looking up and I was happy.

That was until I walked out and saw Brett flirting with the girl at the counter.

Oh, hell _no_.

I turned back into the bathroom and bounced back when Kendra pulled on my arm.

"Lucy?" Kendra asked, question in her eyes.

"I'm just gonna fix my hair, Ken. Out in a minute." I rubbed my lips together. "Hmmm maybe put some more lip gloss on…"

"Okay." She smiled, and went to go sit back with the others.

And that ladies and gentleman, is the reason I am the best damn actress in the history of the world.

I dashed back into the end stall and threw myself on my knees and shoved my finger down my throat.

Brett didn't mean what he said. Throw up once. Brett likes her more than me. Throw up twice. Brett doesn't love me. Throw up three times. She's skinnier than me. Throw up four times. I'm fat. Throw up five times.

I started choking and coughing and leaned against the stall wall. My head was reeling and the walls seemed to be spinning.

My head throbbed. No matter how many times I do this I will never get used to the side effects.

I pulled myself up and stumbled towards the mirror on the opposite wall. I fixed my hair and straightened out my clothes till it didn't show what I had done.

I walked back out and talked and smiled and laughed with everyone, even smiling at Brett every now and then.

To them I was fine, but I knew day one of 'make myself safe and healthy' didn't turn out the way I was hoping.

And honestly I'm not too upset about it. Because I'm skinny.

And pretty.

And Brett likes pretty.

And I like Brett.

And Brett needs to love me.

And I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen.

**A/N: well I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter, let me know what you think.**

**Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	14. A Bittersweet Relationship

My girls dropped me off after the disaster at Dairy Queen. I still can't believe this. After everything that I go through and everything he says to me, he still flirts with that whore employee.

Ugh, I should have gotten her fired.

And I could have, don't doubt me.

I finished the hugs and stepped out of the car. I got halfway up the driveway before spinning back around when Kendra called my name.

"Lucy," she jogged up the driveway towards me, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine, Ken. It's just a lot to deal with, but I'm gonna be okay." Damn, when I'm faking happiness, I am _really_ intelligent sounding.

"Okay, I love ya, Luce." she pulled me in for another hug.

"I love you, too." I said, my smile turning genuine. At least someone loves me.

I walked up to the house and unlocked the front door. I practically slammed it shut and leaned against it. In a way I'm glad Kendra and I talked today. As much as I love the other girls, me and Kendra will always be the closest, it's just the way it is.

I stumbled over to the couch and threw myself down on the soft pillows.

Throwing up takes a lot out of you.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Kendra.

. . .

**To: Kendra**

**From: Lucy**

**u headin 2 the hospital?**

. . .

I closed my eyes and tried to collect my thoughts. Where do I stand with Brett right now? We're not together, but are we really broken up?

I mean, will he be waiting for me after this all blows over? Although after today it seems like it won't ever blow over. Maybe I don't want it too…

I mean yeah, this whole thing sucks, but honestly, it's who I am. If this goes away, I'll just be lost.

I felt my hip vibrate and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

. . .

**To: Lucy**

**From: Kendra**

**yea. patrice and evan r thr now. **

. . .

I replied with a 'k' and through my phone across the room, not in the mood to hear from civilization right now.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but the doorbell interrupted my calm state of mind. Shit.

I hauled myself up and made my way to the door. If this is some miserable bitch looking for me to donate money I swear to god I will…

I through the door open and felt my jaw drop.

"Brett?" my voice shook. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked, his hand in his hair.

"Uh, yeah. Of course." I stepped to the side and followed him into the living room.

"So what's up?" I asked awkwardly. Why the hell was he here? I can't deal with this now! Breathe Lucy, breathe. It's all good. Everything will be fin- oh who the hell am I kidding? This sucks.

"Look I now I said it was cool if we weren't together, but together or not, Luce, I need to see you." He said intensely. His eyes bore into mine. "I need to know you're eating." He finished quitter then he began.

"I am, Brett. I am." I reassured, but the pains in my stomach objected.

"Really? What have you eaten today?" he asked skeptically, crossing his arms. Shit, he can always tell when I'm lying.

"Well I- uh," I stuttered, he raised his eyebrow and I knew he knew. "Fine. Nothing, okay? I haven't eaten anything."

"So you lied to me before?" he asked, and I pretended not to see the hurt in his eyes.

"Yes." I whispered, scared to look in his eyes.

"Why, Lucy? Why won't you eat?" he begged, and I just shrugged. He crossed the room and held my face in his hands, unsatisfied with my lack of an answer. "Why, baby?"

"Because you don't love me!" I shrieked, backing away from where he stood in shock.

"You don't love me! You don't love me because I'm not Kendra, or the whore at Dairy Queen, or blonde, or pretty, or- or skinn- or skinny!" the sobs racked through my body and my hand flew up to my mouth to muffle the screams I wanted so badly to let out.

He grabbed me and held me to his chest, I tried pulling back, squirming and thrashing, trying to get away from the bastard who causes me so much pain, but I finally gave in and collapsed in his arms.

He held me tight against him, one arm around my waist and the other cradling my head to his chest. I turned my head and laid my ear on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I'm pretty damn sure it's the only sound in the world that can calm me down.

He carried me bridal style over to the couch and held me in his lap. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.

_This_, this is what I miss when we're apart. Screw bulimia, I need him. He might be the reason I make myself throw up, but it hurts even more when we're apart.

I finally calmed my breathing and wiped the tears from my face. I kept my head on his chest, listened to his heart, and tried to make sense out of everything. What am I gonna do?

"You're beautiful, Lucy. You always have been. I wish you would see it." I pouted slightly at the sadness in his voice, I don't wanna hurt him in this, despite what I do, that is never my intention. "I don't want Kendra, or some random whore," I felt my lips curl up a little, "I want _you_. I love you."

"Brett-" I couldn't even finish. What do I say to that?

"You gotta eat, baby." He said, when I didn't keep going. "You have to. Please, just eat." he rubbed my back, and kissed my temple. "And keep it down." He whispered lightly, not wanting to offend me.

"I can't," I whispered, looking away from him. "I have to throw up."

"Why, Lucy? You give me one good reason why you would do that to yourself." I started shaking my head and wiped anther tear that escaped. "Tell me, Lucy." He said stronger, shaking me slightly.

"Because you won't love me unless I'm skinny." I whispered, finally looking in his eyes.

All I saw was a mix of confusion, sadness, concern, worry, and love. How many emotions can this boy have?

"Lucy, you listen to me. You're gorgeous and baby, if you get any skinnier you're gonna have some major health issues. You _are_ skinny, babe. And so beautiful. If only I could make you see what I see." He kissed my cheek.

"You mean it?" I asked, hesitantly.

He smiled, "Of course I do, baby. I love you." He leaned forward and caught my lips in a sweet kiss. I entwined my hands in his hair and his arms slipped around my waist to pull me closer to him.

I pulled back, and smiled a small smile, "Brett, I don't care anymore. I'll find a way to fix this." Okay, so maybe that was a tiny lie, but hey, whatever gets me Brett. "Can we please get back together?"

"Of course." He smiled and pulled my lips back to his.

**A/N: so here's chapter 14.**

**I'm running out of plot ideas so give me whatever you got, and tell me if I should change the rating to M and have more explicit future chapters or keep it at T.**

**Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken **


	15. The Joy Idiot Boyfriends Bring

"Awww so he came to the house?" Kendra cooed, her hand on her heart.

"Yup, said he had to see if I ate or not." I smiled, so relieved the heartache was over for now.

"Ohmygod he sooooo cares, Lucy!" Charlotte squealed, jumping up and down, clapping frantically.

"Yeah, I guess he does." I muttered, smiling.

We were all at the mall, making our way into every department store we saw. There were only a few weeks of summer left and they were having major clearance sales. Not that we would ever buy anything on sale, I mean ew, that has Patrice written all over it.

I told all my girls what happened and they thought it was the cutest thing ever. And I was happy too, but I still don't know where I stand with my bulimia.

Am I stopping? Am I trying to stop? Or am I gonna stay skinny and pretty? I didn't know, but either way, I'm gonna be pretty. I have to.

"Ooooh, how about this skirt?" Cassie asked, holding up the ugliest skirt I have ever seen in my life.

"Yeah, it's great Cass," I smirked, "If you're shopping with Patrice."

She gave me a dirty look and put it back on the rack. This is what I live for, knowing I have Brett Sampson all to myself and knowing my girls are by my side.

"Hey, just so you all know," I started, getting everyone's attention. "Anyone who tells anyone who isn't standing here right now what happened with me and Brett will have to deal with me. Got it?" I threatened, knowing they would all take it seriously.

They all nodded and smiled and turned back to the multiple racks of clothing all around us. I started sorting through a rack of jeans, a wave of depression washing over me when I realized I wouldn't fit in a size zero.

I was in the middle of thinking up an excuse to go to the bathroom when my phone went off in my purse. I searched for it through the many layers of makeup, sunglasses, wallets, and gum until I found it on the bottom.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to shove everything back into my purse. And I managed, because ya know, I'm just so amazingly graceful like that.

"What the hell, babe?" Brett's irritated voice echoed through the phone. I smiled; his anger really shouldn't entertain me so much.

"What?" I asked innocently, knowing it would piss him off more.

"I've sent you like eight texts." He practically snapped, yay, it worked. An even more pissed off boyfriend because of me, check.

Life is good.

"It was at the bottom of my purse, I didn't hear it vibrate. Calm your balls." I held the phone up to my ear with my shoulder and took a really cute blue mini dress off the rack for further examination.

"Well I've been in your driveway for forever," gotta love his accuracy. "Now c'mon, let's do something."

"I'm not home, moron." I rolled my eyes at his stupidity, and had to smile just a little bit.

"You're not home?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused. Ah, Brett you really are as dumb as you look.

"No," I said slowly, like I was talking to a kindergartener. "I'm at the mall with the girls."

"But you're car's in the driveway." He answered, look at him try to put it together. He's really not following this, unbelievable.

"I know, I got a ride with Charlotte." I finished. I rolled my eyes, Molly sent me a confused look I just shook my head.

"Oh," he said, I think he finally understood, about time. "Well when you getting back?"

"Awwww, do you miss me?" I teased, he _better _answer yes..

"You act like it's a sin that I wanna hang with my girl." My heart skipped a beat, I love it when he calls me that.

"We'll be done in an hour, can you last that long?" I teased again.

"Uh yeah, I think I'll make it." He replied sarcastically. Ass.

"Yeah, good to know." I muttered, wanting to get back to my shopping. "So, I'll see you later?"

"Yes, you will." He said huskily, and I could tell he had that sexy smirk on his face. Dammit, how does he so that? Turn me on with only three words.

"Kay," I smiled, suddenly wanting to get the hell out of here. "Bye, Brett."

"Bye, baby." He answered, before hanging up.

Well today is certainly going to be a good day.

**A/N: chapter 15, here ya go.**

**Pleaseeeeeee review, I'm like begging here people. I need reviews!**

**Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	16. Wish I Could Stay Here Forever

**A/N: Okayyyy so here is chapter 16 and I know it's been forever, don't hate me, but I have seriously run out of plot ideas so I needs your opinions and reviews so I can continue this story!**

**I am seriously lost right now, like I don't know what to do with this story. **

**Sooooo unless you want me to discontinue it, review and leave me some ideas!**

**And don't say get Lucy pregnant, cause it's not happening. At least not for a longggg time. I'm talking like twenty chapters here people. **

**So, yes. Please review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**

"Thanks for the ride, Charlotte." I said, swinging my legs outta her car and hopping out into my driveway. I could see Brett's truck out of the corner of my eye, but I avoided all eye contact. He always got mad if I didn't pay enough attention to him, so pissing him off would be very entertaining for the next who minutes.

"Anytime, honey," she giggled, "I'll come back later to drop your bags off, kay? Give you a few hours alone with Brett," she winked and giggled again, pulling me in for a big hug. I smiled in her hair and pulled away, giving her once last smile and blew her a kiss before shutting the door and turning around.

I heard her pull away as I walked towards Brett's truck. As much as I make fun of him for it, calling him a redneck and saying he was white trash, we have had some pretty damn good car sex in that truck.

Shit, great, now I'm horny again.

I got to the truck, pausing for a few moments to fix my hair in the side mirror, knowing it'll piss him off even more, and for some reason that was my main goal right now.

I opened the car door, dropping my purse at my feet. I took my lip gloss out of my skirt pocket and tuned the rearview mirror towards me and began to reapply, still not looking at Brett. I could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

Man, this was fun.

I reached down to shove my lip gloss into my purse, before slowly turning towards him. His eyes were filled with annoyance and I had to bite my lip in an attempt not to laugh.

I'm still not sure how, but suddenly the passenger seat was pushed all the way back, my hands were pinned above my head, and Brett was on top of me.

"You know I hate it when you keep me waiting, Lucy." He growled, his breath tickling my ear.

"Oh baby," I started teasingly, "You're so cute when you're angry, I can't resist."

He didn't respond. He glared at me slightly for calling him cute, something I know he hates, because apparently it decreases his masculinity, I don't know, he just slowly licked a hot trail from my chin, to my jaw line, to my ear, before taking the lobe into him mouth and sucking on it.

A moan escaped from my lips, pressing my hips up into his, feeling how tight his pants were. I just might have a chance at winning this.

Me and Brett have been together long enough that we started this kind of… competition? I guess that's what you would call it. We both know how badly we need each other, but we always compete to see who would cave first. We'd tease each other mercilessly, and wait to see who would admit how badly they needed the other.

…I usually lost.

So he has more self-control, whatever, and not by much!

But I mean c'mon! Look at Brett, how could I resist?

Wait, no, I take that back. Don't look at my boyfriend. Fuck off, girls, he's taken.

My thoughts went incoherent as he started nibbling on my neck, a loud moan slipping through my lips.

"Well, Lucy? Don't you have anything to say to yourself?" he began sucking on my neck and I could feel a hickey forming and it took all my strength to not cave right there.

"Nope, I think I'm good." I smiled bitchily, pressing my hips up to his again, getting a hiss as a response. Hell yeah, I'm good.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Lucy." He hissed in my ear, before kissing the lobe. He held both wrists above my head in one hand, and the other began slowly slipping up my shirt.

His hand traced circles on my stomach, slowly moving further up my torso. His hand finally reached my bra, his finger tracing the wire.

His lips left warm kisses along my neck, and I struggled against him to get my hands free, dying to run my fingers through his hair, but he only smirked and held my hands tighter.

He reached behind my back and expertly undid my bra one-handed. He slipped his hand under the material and I gasped as his cold fingers teased my nipple.

He pulled his lips away from my neck to look me in the eye; smirking when I moaned and pinched my nipple, before sucking the other one through my thin tank top.

I moaned and closed my eyes, we'd been in the car a whole five minutes and he already had me practically begging for it.

I knew I had to at least put up a decent fight or he would never let me hear the end of it, but _God_ did I want him right now.

He finally released my hands to pull my tank top and bra over my head, throwing it somewhere in the back seat, before kissing me deeply. I had my hands in his hair for all of two seconds before he was interlocking our fingers, I smiled into the kiss.

Aww, Brett was so sweet sometimes. Usually he would just rip my pants off, but today he actually decided to be romantic, he knows I love it when he holds my hand.

I was about to reward him for being so amazing, until I realized my hands were pinned above my head again.

Asshole.

"Brett," I growled, when he pulled away to nibble on my neck again. I struggled to get my hands free, his hand only tightening around my wrists.

"You didn't think I'd let you go that easy, did you darling?" he whispered in his sexiest voice, his mouth latching onto my nipple.

And it was then I realized I had absolutely no chance of winning this.

Shit.

He sucked on my nipple roughly, not satisfied until my breast was covered in purple blotches.

He switched to my other breast, assaulting it the same way he did to the first. A deep moan slipped through my lips as he bit down on the nipple hard. He smirked, sitting up so he was straddling me. His hips dug into mine as he grinded his erection into my hot core.

I knew he could feel my heat through my thin skirt and soaked panties, and he knew he won.

"Brett," I moaned, as his fingers slowly slipped up the inside of my thigh and under my skirt to slide my panties down my legs. I kicked them off and pushed my hips in his.

His fingers traced small circles on my stomach before undoing the button and zipper on my jean skirt, before lightly patting the side of my hip, and I lifted up my butt in response so he could pull it down my legs.

So I now lay naked underneath possibly the sexiest man alive, who was still fully clothed, and loving the fact that I was completely under his control.

He smirked down at me and I swear the heat grew between my legs.

I through my head to the side as I felt his fingers tease my entrance slowly. His index finger slowly slid across my clit, earning a whimper from me and a huge smirk from Brett.

"Do you want me to finger you, Lucy?" he asked, his finger never speeding up, just slowly rubbing my clit up and down. Another whimper escaped my lips and I swear to God I think I'm gonna explode.

"Do you want me, Lucy?" he asked, his finger slowing, my hips jerked in response. "Hmmm, Lucy? Do you want me, baby?"

"You want me too," I retorted, hoping to gain some control here, and I pushed my hips into his and grinded into his erection, finally getting him to moan as loudly as I had.

"I always want you, baby." He whispered, leaning down to peck me on the lips sweetly. I smiled and momentarily forgot I was supposed to be pissed at him.

His finger drew a small circle around my entrance and my anger returned, my teeth biting my lip, holding in a moan.

"You're such a fucking tease, Brett." I growled, hoping he realized he wouldn't be getting any action for a long time for pulling this.

"Aww, you love it, baby." He teased, and slowly entered one finger into me the slightest bit, before pulling back out and rubbing my clit again.

"Brett!" I shouted in sexual frustration. What was with him? He never made me wait this long. "I swear to God Brett," I started.

"Do you cave, baby?" he teased, slowly starting to push his finger into me. "Do I win again?"

Is this seriously what this is about? Winning? I'm gonna have to kill this boy.

"Yes! Just get in me _now_!" I pleaded, not giving a damn at my current horny point.

He smirked and plunged his finger into me, causing me to scream. He shoved another finger in me and I swear I could feel my release already. He quickly and expertly pulsed his fingers in and out of me and as I thrashed my head back and forth.

He slid down my body, finally releasing my hands, and replaced his fingers with his tongue. I grabbed his hair, braiding my fingers into it.

His tongue lapped at my folds, before sucking on my clit and I swear I could feel it pulsing.

My stomach tightened and I felt my release. Brett licked me clean and I almost got horny again just at the sight.

He slid back up my body and grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me lightly, his tongue massaging mine and I could taste myself on his tongue.

He pulled back and kissed me on the forehead, before shifting us so he sat in the seat and I was on his lap. He held me close, my head on his chest, and he kissed my hair.

"I love you, Lucy." He whispered, squeezing me against his chest, and I've never felt safer.

**A/N: well here's chapter 16 and as I said, I need help.**

**Please review with ideas.**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	17. Reassurance Heals the Pain

I was laying on the couch, flipping through the channels in disgust with what Hollywood puts on television, when I heard the water turn off. After our intense car sex, Brett went upstairs to take a shower and I headed for the living room.

He had wanted to shower together, but of course, knowing him, that would turn into something that would leave me limping for days. Not that I don't love the sex injuries he gives me, but c'mon a girl's gotta get a break once in a while.

I turned the TV off and made my way upstairs to shower. I walked into my bedroom and smiled at how lucky I was to have such a sexy boyfriend. Brett was standing in the corner of my room, in only a towel, digging through the top drawer of my dresser where all his stuff was.

I leaned against the door frame and practically drooled over the sight of Brett, my teeth digging into my lower lip the whole time. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the drawer and turned around to change when his eyes caught mine.

"See something you like?" he asked with an amused smirk.

"Shut up, asshole," I retorted, stepping into the room, and walking over to him. "You stare at me _way_ more than I stare at you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my head on his chest, still warm from the shower. His arms wrapped themselves around me, and he placed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Think whatever you want, Lucy, but you just admitted to staring at me, and that's enough for me." I pulled back to see him smirking at me.

"Wha-" I blinked in shock, did I really say that? Shit. I did. Well, now I'll have to hear about this for the rest of my life. "Shut up, Brett."

"Whatever you want, Lucy." He said, nuzzling my neck, and I could tell he was still smirking. He kissed my neck sweetly, before lightly biting down, just hard enough to make me moan.

"Brett," I moaned, softly pushing him off me so I could look him in the eye. "I gotta go shower."

"Oh c'mon Lucy, stay with me baby." He moaned back.

"I wish I could Brett, but I really gotta go shower." I stepped back, and moved towards the bathroom door. "I love you, and we'll play when I get out," I winked.

I opened the bathroom door and closed it behind me. I took my shirt off and of course, nothing can ever go right for me, and I ended up taking a glance in the mirror.

My ribs poked out and made my torso look all jagged and pointy.

I'm hideous.

Tears slowly welled up in my eyes the longer I looked in the mirror. I glanced at the toilet and against my better judgment, got on my knees in front of it.

I lifted my hand slowly to my closed lips. I thought of Brett, and I know he wouldn't want me to do this.

But the longer I thought about him, the more I realized how much I needed him, and he won't want me unless I'm beautiful.

So I slowly opened my mouth and reached my finger down my throat. My eyebrows wrinkled in disgust as I emptied my lunch into the toilet. I started coughing violently; I never will get use to this.

I sat back and leaned my head against the wall, as the tears continued to leak down my face. The slow tears quickly led to rapid sobs.

I placed my head on my knees and let the makeup run down my arms.

I heard Brett walk in and sit down next to me. He enveloped me in his arms and placed me on his lap. He stroked my hair and placed kisses in my hair.

"Lucy, sweetheart, you gotta stop. You're so beautiful and I wish you could see it," he placed a kiss to my temple and squeezed me tighter.

"I'm just scared, Brett." I sniffed, the tears finally dying down. "I'm so scared."

"Babe, what do you have to be scared of?" Brett whispered, his lips brushing my temple.

"Losing you, Brett. I'm terrified of not having you in my life." I spilled my heart out, and my breathing stopped. What if he says I have every reason to worry? What if he said he was leaving me? What the fuck would I do then?

"Lucy," he said in disbelief, pulling me back so he could look me in the eye, he held me tighter and kissed my cheek before continuing. "Baby, how many times do I have to tell you? You're not gonna lose me. I love you, Luce. I always have and I always will. You're the only girl for me, Lucy."

I laid my head on his shoulder, and wiped the leftover tears off my cheeks. "You promise?" I asked, in my softest voice possible.

"Of course, baby." He kissed my forehead, before carefully standing up and carrying me into my bedroom and sitting down on my bed, still holding me tight against his chest.

I crawled out of his lap and sat next to him, placing my head on his shoulder, I kissed his cheek and felt happiness flood through me when he smiled in response.

"I love you, Lucy." He whispered, and placed his head on top of mine.

Life was good.

**A/N:**

**Just a lil something to update with.**

**Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	18. A Plan in the Works

Brett left me alone to shower after comforting me for another fifteen minutes, I really was lucky that I had him. I know I'll never lose him but I can't help but be terrified at times.

Brett was my baby, just like I was his. We helped each other grow and watched each other turn into the people we are today. And neither of us has been completely repulsed at the final product yet so I guess we really are in love.

I smiled to myself as I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I grabbed a towel and pulled my hair back in a twist/bun thing so it would dry curly.

I opened the door to find my room empty. Where could Brett have possibly gone? I took a few steps and then screamed at the top of my lungs, as someone came up behind and wrapped their arms around my waist, before kissing my neck.

"You really shouldn't scream like that Luce, someone next door might think we're doing something inappropriate." He whispered in my ear, his light laughter making his chest vibrate. He kissed my ear lobe and let go of me and went to sit on my bed.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, like that's ever stopped you before."

"Hey, I gotta think about these things. With all the pleasure I give you, your screaming could awaken the dead." He said with the biggest smirk on his face.

I stared at him with an open mouth, completely in shock. His smirk just got bigger.

I shook my head, "Fine. You wanna be like that? You don't get to watch me change." I walked to my walk in closet, stepped inside and locked the door.

"Aw, c'mon babe why you gotta be like that?" I heard him whine, and it was finally my turn to smirk.

It was a few minutes of silence as I picked out what I was gonna wear. Right about the time when I was thinking he left, Brett spoke up.

"Hey, babe, Malcolm just texted me, he wants us all to go to the movies tonight. I think Patrice and Evan might go to."

I rolled my eyes, all I wanted was to stay home with my sexy boyfriend and do sexy things, but no, now we gotta go out in public.

"Uh, yeah that's fine." I responded, letting my hair down and shaking it out. The curls had begun forming, so now all I had to do was blow it out and I'd look extra hot.

I looked in the mirror and scrutinized my outfit. I was wearing skin tight, dark wash jeans, a very revealing black v-neck tank top and royal blue pumps.

Well this better make Brett go nuts….

I opened the door and stepped out, comb in hand. Brett was sitting on my bed. Texting. Of course. The one time I really want him to look at me he's on his phone.

I walked to the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it, hoping to give him the message that I was not happy.

A few seconds later I heard his footsteps come towards the door.

"Luce, you okay?" he asked through the door, his hand twisting the door knob.

Congratulations Lucy, you're dating a modern day Einstein. Brett picked up that there was something wrong, what a genius.

Instead of responding, I turned my hair dryer on high and let it drown out the sound of his voice.

While I couldn't hear his voice, I could still hear his fist banging on my bathroom door.

When I was done I shook out my hair a little and put a little hair spray on it and shoved the hair dryer back under the counter.

His banging had stopped and I guessed he was probably downstairs eating, being the fat ass that he is.

I played with my hair for the next few minutes, until I jumped a foot when he started pounding on the door again. I rolled my eyes angrily and threw open the door.

"God, what?" I half-yelled. He stood there, his eyes extremely pissed. When he didn't answer in two seconds I pushed past him and heading to the vanity where I keep all my jewelry. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, me nearly falling in my heels.

"Are you out of your mind?" he spit out.

"What are you talking about? Let go of me!" I shrieked, too annoyed at the moment to care about what he had to say.

"Lucy, don't ever do that again, do you understand me?" his eyes were strong and I hated when he talked to me like I was a child, so I looked away.

"Do what, Brett? And for the love of God, let go of me." I pulled against his hold until he rolled his eyes and dropped my wrist.

He had one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair. "You don't know why I'm pissed do you?" he asked, looking me in the eye.

I just shook my head.

"Luce, when I heard that door slam and the door was locked and I didn't know what you were doing, I got scared. I- I thought you- I thought you were-" he stood there shaking his head, unable to form words.

"You thought I was throwing up." I finished in a small voice.

"Yeah, I did." He whispered, his eyes glued to mine.

I walked forward and lightly, but sweetly, kissed him on the lips. I pulled back with a small smile on my face.

He smiled back, intertwining our hands, and leaning down so our foreheads could touch. "What was that for?" he asked, placing a kiss on my nose.

"You care." I said, a huge smile on my face.

He laughed lightly and the sound made my smile grow. "Of course I do, you silly girl! That's what I've been trying to tell you." he placed another kiss on my nose before planting a deeper one on my mouth.

"So tell me," he started when we pulled apart. "What were _you_ mad about?"

I looked away from his eyes, blushing, feeling foolish now for thinking those things.

"Uh oh, you're blushing, this is gonna be good." He smirked.

"Brett shut up, it's not important." I unwrapped my hands from his and crossed my arms over my chest.

"No, I wanna hear what you have to say baby doll." His smirk made me blush even harder. He started tickling me and he is such a cheater because he knows I always cave when he does that.

"Okay fine!" I breathed heavily, as he finally removed his fingers from my sides. "I was in the closet and I was trying to pick out the perfect outfit. And well honestly what did you think I was doing? I was in there for like twenty minutes!"

"To tell you the truth, I was hoping you were in there thinking about me and touching yourself." He smirked and winked at me and my eyes widened.

"Brett!" I shrieked, punching him in the stomach. Of course his abs of steel didn't allow any pain to be inflicted. Dammit.

He just laughed at my reaction of course, so when he finally calmed himself down, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we both leaned against the wall.

"So tell me baby," he said and I swear I could see a smirk forming at the corner of his lips.

I rolled my eyes, "I was taking a long time to pick out an outfit because, well, I was hoping you'd think I was sexy and you'd get all possessive and then if we go out later you wouldn't flirt with anyone…"

What I was not expecting was when he started laughing.

Still laughing, he pulled me to him and kissed my forehead. I just stared at him with narrow eyes until he calmed down.

"Seriously Brett?" I huffed, "Watch me never tell you anything ever again." 

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah okay, Lucy." Adding another small laugh at the end.

"Oh my god, what is so funny, you ass?" I asked pretty much fed up with the whole laughing at me thing.

"_Because_ you naïve, little girl," he started, and a small gasp escaped my lips when he grabbed my hips and pulled me flush against him. "Do you honestly believe I don't think you're sexy?"

When I didn't answer, he reached around to smack my ass, making me squeal and making him smirk. Again.

I'd say I was getting tired of it, but he knew how much it turned me on.

"Huh, Lucy? I know you're sexy babe, incredibly sexy. And as for the possessiveness and the no flirting, well I would do that for ya babe, I would, but it's so much more fun when you're jealous." He smirked down at me, his eyes taunting. Bastard.

I raised my eyebrows and just stared at him, a plan in the works. "What?" he asked innocently.

I shook my head, "Nothing," I lied, sitting on my bed, about to text Charlotte. He was starting to get nervous, "Go fix your hair or something, it's dreadful." I said without looking up.

I heard him scoff, but head into the bathroom nonetheless.

I pressed send on my phone and leaned back, tonight was definitely going to be fun.

**To Charlotte:**

**From Lucy:**

**Bretts bein an ass. Look hot tonite. Time to make him jealous!**

…

**A/N: Alright well, I'm truly am sorry for not updating in so long….  
**

**Won't happen again!**

**Please Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	19. Is This the End?

Brett and I hadn't talked much after I texted Charlotte. We were busy doing um, well I guess you could call it…. Well, oh please, since when do I care? We were fucking each other senseless.

Just in case this plan didn't work, I needed him to remember who he belonged to.

We were in the car on the way to movies, when he turned the radio down and started speaking. Something I'm never fond of him doing unless he's spewing compliments out at me.

"Okay, Luce, what's up with you?" he asked, I rolled my eyes but never looked at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Brett." I answered with sly smile on my lips.

He sighed and I swear I could hear him curse under his breath. "Lucy, we just fooled around for hours, and you didn't complain about your hair, your makeup once. You've haven't insulted me in a good four hours, and you keep smiling that creepy ass smile. What is up with you?"

I inwardly laughed, this was awesome. "Brett, I thought you'd be happy that we just fucked for hours. I thought that was what every boyfriend wanted." I looked at him all innocent like, and he stared right back not believing it for a second.

"Yes, Lucy, guys love that. But going out with you as long as I have, I've learned there's always a catch."

"Brett, I'm hurt. I'm just trying to please my man." I winked at him and put a sexy smile on my mouth and I swear he almost drove off the road.

Success.

"Um, alright…" he trailed off, "You sure everything's okay?" his eyes confused.

"Of course baby," I smiled, my hand making its way up his thigh.

His eyes remained on the road but his hands tightened on the wheel. This was gonna be fun.

We were there in another five minutes and met up with Charlotte, Richie, and Cassie. "The others are on their way," Cassie told us.

"Um, hey Lucy? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Charlotte asked, pointing behind her. I nodded and untangled myself from Brett and walked away from the group. She turned her back to everyone so they couldn't see what she was saying.

"Alright Luce, what's up? You look super-hot, and you're hanging all over Brett and that text…. What's going on?" she asked confused.

I laughed lightly and responded, "It's nothing Charlotte. Brett just keeps making all these comments about how much I need him and I thought it was time for a little reality check." I giggled.

"Ahh, I see." She giggled, she looked further behind me and a giant smile lit up her face. "Well, if you want a jealous boyfriend then luck is on your side tonight." She winked. I looked at her confused and turned around.

My jaw dropped and I turned back to Charlotte. "Well, this is perfect." The smirk on my face grew and we linked arms and walked to the end of the parking lot.

….

**BPOV**

Evan and Patrice came a few minutes after Lucy and Charlotte went to talk. My back was too them and I was going to keep it that way, Lucy was acting weird as hell and I could only imagine what she was telling Charlotte.

We did the whole small talk thing, Cassie and Patrice were discussing what movie to see. Honestly I know I've never been Patrice's favorite person, but I really don't mind her at all, she's probably the nicest out of all of us… Just don't tell Lucy that.

Evan and Richie were talking about the game last night and I tried to focus. But I couldn't get my mind off that certain brunette. What was her deal anyway?

Right as I was about to ask Cassie what was up, I heard her giggle.

And not the standard Lucy giggle, not the 'wow you're hilarious' giggle, not even the flirt giggle.

Nope, this was her 'fuck me now,' giggle.

I turned around slowly, and when I saw them my eyes narrowed and my breathing stopped and all I saw was red.

"Brett, man, what's up?" Evan asked, I could feel them all staring but I couldn't care less.

I turned back to Evan slightly, my eyes never leaving them. "I'll be right back." I started walking towards them and I got more pissed by the second.

I could hear them talking behind me as they saw it too. "Shit!" Richie muttered.

"Oh dear God," Cassie whined "Here we go again."

"What's wrong?" Patrice asked.

"That's Jake," Cassie whispered and I barely heard her. However I did hear Patrice gasp.

Yes, indeed. Lucy and Charlotte were standing in an empty parking spot with Jake Newton, the biggest burnout in town. Both girls had a cigarette in their hands. Charlotte was leaning against a car and Jake had his arm around Lucy's waist.

As much as that pissed me off, I hated even more that she was leaning into him, placing her head on his shoulder, constantly smiling at him. It made me sick.

A year ago, Jake and Lucy were really good friends, until he got too into it and hit on her every chance he got. Now Lucy being Lucy loved it, however I did not. I broke it off with her when she refused to tell him nothing would happen between them.

That was our longest breakup ever and when we did get back together I made sure she never went near him again.

But now she's hanging on his every word and I just wanna hit something.

So as I got closer and could hear their conversation I thought I was going to start foaming at the mouth. She was facing me but never saw me because her eyes never left Jake's.

She put the cigarette to her lips and blew out the thick smoke.

"So, when did you start smoking Luce?" Charlotte asked, puffing out her own smoke.

"I really only do it when I'm with Jake." She giggled and he kissed her cheek. "It's pretty fun actually."

"Fuck yeah it is, sex and cigarettes, that's her favorite thing." He smacked her ass and kissed her cheek again.

I froze mid step she always told me that she had never slept with him…

"Thirsty, baby?" Jake asked, gesturing to the brown bag at his feet.

"I'm thirsty for something," she winked at him and I literally growled. "But I'll settle for what you got in the bag." She giggled.

I started walking again and this time much faster.

"There's no need to settle, baby." He smirked and started kissing her neck and my hands clenched into fists. I felt my heart snap when she threw her head back and moaned the moan that I love. The moan that only I can get out of her.

Charlotte turned her head at that point and saw me and smirked and all the heartache vanished.

Anger pulsed through my veins. Lucy knew this would happen, that's why she was being so weird, she was planning this all along. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't think straight.

I finally reached them and Jake finally took his lips off my chick and had the nerve to just laugh.

"Lucy, let's go, we're leaving." I pushed out through clenched teeth, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me but she just slipped out of my grasp.

She rolled her eyes and leaned further into Jake and it took all my strength not to kill him right there.

"Brett, seriously? Why you always gotta be so uptight?" she said, mocking all the times I've told her that and blew more smoke out of her mouth.

"Lucy I swear to God-"

"Man, why don't you just fuck off, she doesn't want you here." Jake spit out.

Fuck strength.

I laughed dryly as my fist collided with his face. I stood over his unconscious self and tried to pretend I hadn't heard Lucy scream his name when I punched him.

**A/N: Slight cliff hanger here people, I apologize….**

**It would be too long if I kept going.**

**Please Review with any cute Brett/Lucy ideas you may have!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	20. Shattering Two Hearts Beyond Repair

**A/N: starts in Lucy POV (: **

…

"Jake!" I shrieked just as he went down, seeing the blood drip from his nose made me stomach twist. I mean yeah, I wanted to piss Brett off, but I didn't want Brett to kill him, and knowing Brett he would.

I looked at Brett with wide eyes but he never took his eyes off of Jake.

"Charlotte, go tell everyone that everything's fine and me and Lucy will see you guys some other time." He said in calm, even voice, which scared me. That's the voice he uses when he gets so angry he's numb and about to start screaming any second. The only other time I've heard him use it was when some guy almost raped me when I was drunk at party.

Charlotte just nodded and looked at me nervously. She walked over and pecked me on the cheek before whispering in my ear. "Be careful; don't do anything more stupid than you already have." She looked me sternly in the eyes and I watched her walk back to the others.

I looked back to Brett and caught him staring at me, not the 'I'll love you forever' look that's always in his eyes, but the 'do I mean nothing to you' look. I felt my heart break in half and shatter into a million pieces.

"Let's go." He whispered, turning and walking to the car.

"Brett, I really don't think you should be driving right now…" I whispered, fear in my eyes.

He opened the car door, "I'm fine, I can control myself, unlike you." He spit out and the words cut through me like a knife.

We both got in silently and sat through the first few minutes in uncomfortable silence. After a while I couldn't take in anymore.

"Brett, I-"

"Don't talk, Lucy. I will lose my mind if you talk right now." He said through clenched teeth.

We sat the rest of the way in silence, Brett pressing on the gas fifteen miles past the limit, while I pushed tears back until my eyes burned.

He pulled into my driveway and made no move to get out of the car. I just stared at him for a few seconds.

"You're not coming in, are you?" I whispered, my voice thick with unshed tears.

He kept his eyes looking out the window, and answered without a hint of pain in his voice. "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Brett, shouldn't we talk or something?"

"Talk about what Lucy?! How you made me lose all the trust and faith I had in you in one night? How I'm so mad right now I could go back and murder that son of a bitch? Or maybe we should talk about how big of a hypocrite you really are." His voice got louder with every word.

My blood boiled. Yeah I'm upset he's hurt and I feel terrible but hypocrite? Really?

"Yeah, I get it Brett, you're pissed, okay? I get it. I'm sorry I did what I did, I really truly am, I'd take it all back if I could. But how the fuck am I a hypocrite?" I shouted back.

"Please, Lucy. You're always bitching at me about how I flirt with other girls and you go and do something a hundred times worse. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Seeing him hold you? Touch you? I mean, he was sucking on your fucking neck, Lucy! Am I just supposed to be okay with that?"

I sat back in the seat and pulled my knees up, hugging them to my chest. The tears welled up, making it hard to see but they didn't spill over yet.

After a little while, Brett spoke up again. "Lucy…" he paused, and I waited for the question I knew was gonna come. "Did you sleep with him?"

A single tear fell and I knew he had his answer.

"Fuck!" his hand came down hard on the wheel and the tears poured from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"How many times, Lucy?" he asked, back to the numb voice.

"Twice," I forced out, before opening the car door , realizing he'll probably never wanna see me again.

"Lucy, were we together when you sleep with him?" he asked, not looking at me.

"No, we weren't." I answered before stepping out of the car and closing the door. I walked to the garage door and put the code in and while the door was coming up I stole a glance back at the car.

And that ladies and gentleman, was the first time I've ever seen Brett Samson cry.

**A/N: really short I know and I'm sorry.**

**This chapter made me cry, no joke.**

**Please Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken **


	21. Unwanted Memories fuels Undeniable Pain

I sat down on the couch and let the pain wash over me. I hadn't heard Brett pull out of the driveway but I was too ashamed to even look out the window.

I laid my head down and let the memory I've tried so hard to repress wash over me.

I was sixteen. Sixteen and dumb, but nonetheless sixteen. Jake and I had become closer and I really didn't mind. So what if he thinks I'm hot? Most of Indiana thinks Brett is hot and do I freak out?

Well yeah I do, but not as often as I could!

Brett had just dumped me and I was feeling more angry than ever.

We all were at a party a few weeks later. I was hanging with the girls when Jake walked through everyone and grabbed my hand. We talked for a little bit, before we somehow (quickly) ended upstairs.

Me being sixteen and dumb used the logic that I have had sex a million times with Brett, this won't matter.

Well I had sex that night, and for the first time I hated myself afterwards.

It felt gross and wrong, but every time I started to pull away I imagined what trashy blonde Brett had under him and all thoughts of stopping left my mind.

I left the party in a daze, mostly from the alcohol, but I just didn't feel right about what happened.

The next day I ran into Jake at Dairy Queen and we fucked in the bathroom. This time I was totally sober.

Brett called me that night, saying how sorry he was and that he'd deal with Jake and he just wanted me to be his again.

I said okay and happily got back together with him, but the guilt was killing me. How was I supposed to tell him? He'd hate me forever!

So I didn't tell him. I told Jake we couldn't talk anymore and he couldn't have cared less, and I hadn't seen him since.

Until tonight. When I ruined my relationship for forever.

I covered my head with a couch pillow and wished I could suffocate myself right there.

My phone buzzed and I debated whether or not to flush it down the toilet.

I opened the message anyway.

**To: Lucy**

**From: Charlotte**

**hey brett wnt ansr me. u ok? wht happened?**

I threw phone at the wall and felt the loneliness overwhelm me as the sound echoed throughout the empty house.

I let a single sob escape and before I knew it I was in hysterics. My head pounded, my chest hurt, I couldn't breathe or see, and to top it all off, I kept hoping Brett would be here to tell me it was all going to be okay.

But he never came.

**A/N: short chapter with the flashback (sorta) **

**Please Review! I'm dying for your opinions!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken **


	22. Ripping Open the Wound

It's been three weeks since the incident at the movies, three weeks since I've heard from or seen Brett, and three weeks since I've started completely and totally hated myself.

The girls come over every day now, and they try to cheer me up but honestly, what's the point?

Brett clearly never wants to see me again, and I can't blame him. All I do is lie around and drown in my self hatred and disgust.

Kendra's been trying to make sure I keep eating but I'm so sick to my stomach all the time I have no appetite. They stand outside the door every time I go to the bathroom, but I keep telling them, I'm too exhausted to even think about it.

I have barely slept at all these past few weeks and the dark, droopy bags under my eyes show it. I'm too tired to blink let alone get up and make myself throw up. Besides, Brett was the whole reason I wanted to do that, to keep myself pretty and skinny for him, and now that's over.

More tears roll down my face when I think about it. In some way, I knew Brett loved me, and yet I always had to push him away, whether I was throwing up or making him jealous. This isn't just because of that night, it's been building for a while, and finally he just snapped.

Me and Kendra were sitting on the couch in my living room, I've been staying down here as often as I can, my bedroom having memories plastered on every inch.

My head was on her lap and my legs were curled tight against me, her hand stroking my hair. The tears spilled out slowly, almost as if I was running dry.

Kendra's phone buzzed and she stood up, careful not to push me off. She walked to the front door and opened it, my eyes staying on the carpet.

I heard her whispering with someone but I didn't really care who it was.

"Lucy, dear," she said, continuing when I didn't answer. "There's someone here to see you."

"If it's Charlotte, the jacket I borrowed is on the kitchen counter." I muttered almost silently, my eyes never leaving the floor.

It was quiet for a few seconds, until I heard, "It's me, Lucy."

My head snapped up and my hands instantly went to my face to wipe all the tears off. I sat up quickly and for the first time in what felt like forever looked into his gorgeous eyes.

"Hi…" I started, unsure of what to say.

"Well, I gotta go check on Archie," Kendra said, walking towards me, "But I could be back in a heartbeat, okay?" she kissed my forehead. "Call me if you need anything." She smiled, "And you-" she poked Brett in the arm, "Call me if she's too stupid to call me." he just nodded. She grabbed her purse and keys from the coffee table and headed out, leaving me with Brett.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and leaned my chin on my knee. I couldn't look him in the eye, it hurt too much.

He came and sat down next to me, like a foot away, but at least he was here.

"So, uh, how have you been? You doing okay?" he asked concern in his voice, after everything that has happened he still cares. That gave me the slightest bit of hope that maybe things would be okay.

"I've been better," I said in a small voice, "You?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I've been better too."

It was quiet for a while, as we both just sat there thinking. Thinking about how to handle this, if we could ever get past it, or if there was even a chance to go back to the way things were. Out of all of those, the last would be impossible.

"Lucy, look, I just wanted to apologize for not talking to you that night. I know we should have talked it over, but I was too upset to think straight."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Brett, are you kidding me? Don't you dare apologize to me, I should be groveling on my knees, begging for forgiveness! What I did was wrong Brett, so wrong and I am so, so, sorry." The tears were coming I could feel them.

"Lucy, I know you're sorry, okay? But there's more…" he trailed off.

"What do you mean?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Lucy," he paused shaking his head, "I don't even know how to say this, or if it'll even make sense when it comes out." he whispered. "The thing is, I know how sorry you are, okay? You're not heartless, you know you did something wrong and you're willing to admit it. But it goes beyond that, Luce."

"Brett, I'm really not following." I whispered.

"Lucy when I first met you I knew I wanted you, and then when I got you, I promised myself I'd do anything to keep you happy. But as we've discovered it's pretty damn hard to keep us both happy." He paused a little, and I could tell he was trying to breathe normally. "Lucy you know I'm not good at the whole emotion thing, but you killed me that night. Having him touch you like that, I thought I was going to kill him right there."

"Brett, I'm so sorry." I whispered back, knowing it would never be enough.

"Lucy throughout everything we've been through have I ever lost it, just broken down and let it out?"

I shook my head no.

"No matter how many times you terrified me with the eating thing, or devastated me by breaking up, I've never broken down. I had to be strong for you."

"I know," I said inaudibly.

"I sat in your driveway and screamed and sobbed for two hours that night Lucy." He said with closed eyes.

"Brett I didn't mean for this to happen, please understand that." I begged.

"Really, Lucy? What were you expecting to happen? That'd I'd be fine with him rubbing all over you and you flirting right back? No, I can't even say you were flirting, you were flat out offering to have sex with him!" his words were full of venom and his eyes were furious.

"Brett, please, you don't understand how horrible I feel about this." I attempted to reason.

"Lucy I guarantee it's only a fraction of the pain I felt that night." His voice was harsh and his words stung, but he showed no sign of forgiving me. "I really thought you loved me, Lucy. But I was wrong."

"Brett, how can you say that?" I shrieked, my body going numb.

"Easily. If you loved me, you never would have tried so hard to hurt me." He said venomously.

"No, Brett, I wasn't thinking okay? Nothing like that will ever happen again, I swear to god." I cried.

"You're right," he said standing up, "Because I won't let it," and began walking to the front door.

"Brett, what do you mean by that…?" I held my breath.

"We need a break Lucy, I love you too much to let you go but I can't stand to merely look at you right now." He spit out.

"Brett, please don't go," I begged, his hand on the door knob, as a tear slipped through my lashes. "What am I supposed to do? Just sit around and pray you'll come back?"

"Well then you'd know what it feels like now wouldn't you?"

I think I stopped breathing.

"How long were you going to lie to me about sleeping with him?" he asked, his voice harsh.

"I didn't want you to hate me, I didn't want you to be upset." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"Yeah, well, look how that turned out." he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

I got up and searched the house for my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving now but I needed to head to the hospital and talk to the one person who always helped me.

And I wasn't talking about Kendra.

**A/N: Please Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken  
**


	23. New Perspectives

I walked through the halls of the hospital, and turned the corner to lock eyes with Kendra who was talking to one of Archie's nurses.

She walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek.

"Is Archie with the doctor?" I asked, completely monotone.

She shook her head, "No, he just left. You should have a good chunk of time alone if you wanna talk to him."

I smiled a small, pathetic smile, "Thanks."

I walked in and his eyes met mine and a small smile grew on his face. Though we'd never admit it to anyone, Archie and I had a pretty strong friendship going.

"Hey," he said quietly, as I walked over and sat down next to him. I tried to give him a smile but nothing came out. "So," he continued, "What's been going on?"

"I'm assuming Kendra told you everything that has been going on?" I said, a knowing smirk on my mouth.

He just nodded and smiled.

"She said he came by today." He said hesitantly.

"Yeah he did," I answered nodding, "It was disaster. He said we need a break but I can't help but feel this is it for us."

"You'll never know what life will bring Lucy, whether this break is two days or two years there's no doubt in my mind that you and Brett will end up back together."

"Well I wish I still believed that, Archie, but I really don't. I've never seen him so pissed, so upset, so betrayed." My voice dropped on the last word.

"You did something stupid Lucy, okay? No offense but it's not like this was the first time, and Brett has done a million stupid things and you two always make it through." He reassured, and I remembered why I always went to him for help.

"Thanks, Archie," I smiled, this one semi real.

He grabbed my hand and smiled back, "Anytime, Lucy." I kissed his forehead and sent an 'I'll be back soon!' over my shoulder and my heart nearly stopped when I bumped into Patrice outside the door.

"Um, a little warning would have been nice?" I shrieked, fixing my hair.

"What he said was true Lucy." She whispered.

"Well, well, well, was the precious Patrice ease dropping?" I said in a baby voice.

She rolled her eyes, "Last time I ever try to help you." but smiled nonetheless, patted me on the arm and walked into Archie's room.

I walked over and sat next to Kendra on the bench. Archie was right, I'm not going cry anymore over this. I'm going to let life do its thing. No more fighting for Brett, I'm going to sit back and see what happens. If he wants to be with me, then we'll be together, if I finally pushed him away, then so be it.

I'm not wasting any more of my life on this crap.

She looked up from her phone and smiled. "You look a little better."

I nodded, "I feel a little better, not sure if it'll last, but for now I think I'm okay."

"That's good though, baby steps, right?" she said, smiling when I nodded. "I just texted the girls, they're gonna meet you at home, alright? I can't leave now, Archie has a minor surgery starting in a half hour, but I'll have my phone on me if you need to call me."

I smiled, so extremely grateful to have her in my life. "Okay, thanks Ken." I thanked her and we stood up and I pulled her in for a hug.

"Anytime love, you know that." She smiled and I kissed her cheek before walking out to my car. I sat there for a few minutes, and for the first time in three weeks I savored the feeling of oxygen in my lungs. My chest was clear and I could breathe without wincing.

I felt free, and maybe, just maybe, I could get through this.

. . .

**Molly POV**

. . .

I heard a honk outside and ran down the front steps to Charlotte's car. Cassie was already in the front seat so I was forced to take the back.

Bitches.

Charlotte had called me and Cassie saying we needed to go see Lucy, and of course that made me nervous. I would have gone to Lucy anyway, but an emergency visit was something that scared me.

We did the whole 'hey girl, what's up, you look great' thing and then I spoke up. "Guys, what's going on with Lucy?" I asked hesitantly.

They exchanged looks before Cassie turned around and Charlotte pulled out of the driveway. "Look Moll, we weren't gonna say anything until we got to Lucy's because we figured you'd be less likely to freak with her there."

"Why would I be freaking?" my mind created a hundred different possibilities all of them ending in me killing Brett.

"Kendra called me this morning," Charlotte joined in, "She was with Lucy and Brett came over. And from what Lucy told Archie, it doesn't sound like they fixed things."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the seat, "Did she… ya know?" I asked quietly.

They both shook their heads. "Kendra didn't mention it, but I'm sure she didn't, she's been too depressed to get up." Misery dripping in Charlotte's tone.

"Sometimes Lucy not throwing up is worse than her actually doing it." I whispered.

"I bet he'd come running back if he thought she was throwing up, he always does. But since she's not, he wants nothing to do with her." Charlotte scoffed and shook her head in disgust.

I closed and eyes and tried to pretend I wasn't furious. "Are we just supposed to take this like it's no big deal?" I asked through my teeth. I'd kill Brett if I could. Lucy was my best friend, when she hurt I was in pain watching it. Brett is always the cause of her pain, when will it fucking end for the poor girl?

"_We_ are going to be the best damn friends we can be." Cassie instructed harshly, making my eyes open. "You aren't going to say anything about Brett or this whole situation unless she says something first, you got that? You're not going to kick Brett's ass, because it would only hurt Lucy." She finished.

"I wanna kill him Cass," I whispered, my fists trembling.

"Believe me, we all do, more than anything. But that'll only make Lucy worse." She said quieter than before.

"We gotta protect our girl, Moll." Charlotte said in a baby voice, tears forming and I gave her a little pout that said 'I love you, don't cry!'

"Charlotte, focus on driving, you start crying and we'll be wrapped around a tree in no time." Cassie instructed, adding a little giggle at the end. Charlotte pouted but pulled the tears back in.

I leaned my head back and tried to prepare myself for what was about to happen.

**A/N: Sooo, what do you want happening between the two lovers? ;)**

**Please Review!**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


	24. The Waiting Game

…

**Brett POV**

…

Three weeks have gone by and I feel worse than I did when it actually happened.

Lucy was my chick. My girl. My baby. My everything. Having her away from me was driving me insane.

I just left her house and seeing her was like a punch in the stomach.

I'm upset as hell, so hurt she'd try and hurt me like that. But I'm not mad at her anymore.

Jealous, yes. Upset, yes. Betrayed, definitely. Mad? Not at her.

I'm mad at myself. Mad that I made her feel so unloved it drove her to flirt with the one person I want to kill in this world.

She didn't look like she was taking it so great either. I knew she wasn't, and that weighed on my shoulders every day. The look on her face that night in the car still haunted me. I don't want her to feel like that, but it's hurting me too.

It's killing me, and it's killing her, but I can't forgive and forget, at least not yet. Despite the rumors and my reputation, the only girl I've ever had sex with is Lucy. That's the main reason I never understood why she gets so jealous, she's the only one I've been with, the only one I've _wanted_ to be with.

But knowing that she's been with that scumbag, knowing he's touched her, seen her like only I'm supposed to, made her moan-

And I'm back to wanting to punch something.

I already have some pretty nasty bruises on my knuckles from a few days ago and a few holes in the wall that mock me every time I walk into my room, I didn't need anymore. I may or may not have broken something in my hand, but I haven't really been able to feel anything but the uncontrollable urge to hit something.

The worst thing about this is that I truly don't know how to survive without her. Anytime I got like this, angry or hurt or out of control, I went to Lucy. She calmed me down, got my head back on straight. She was the perfect distraction.

But now I can't, and I don't know how to get rid of this feeling.

I feel like shit and all I want is to run back to her and take her in my arms and never let go, but I know I can't. I can't let her do this to me again.

But I miss my baby.

…

**Charlotte POV**

…

We pulled in Lucy's driveway and we all took a deep breath, preparing ourselves for what was ahead.

We all wanted to kill Brett, that was a given, but we were used to Lucy feeling the same. Every time they break up Lucy was angry and jealous and we'd smack talk him with her until they got back together.

We never had to hide our angry because she was so, so sad.

Pulling the keys from the ignition, I opened the car and took a deep breath, shooting Molly a small smile when she put a hand on my shoulder. We followed Cassie up the steps to the front door. She knocked gently before walking in.

Everything looked intact, which is always a good sign. No broken picture frames or vases, no pillows thrown on the floor. We wandered through and found Lucy on the couch in the living room. She was sitting up, which was new. She was staring at the TV which was actually on this time. She didn't look runway ready, but she had done her hair and put nicer clothes on.

Then again, compared to the sweats she's been wearing every day, anything was nicer.

Her head turned when she heard us come in the room and gave us a small but genuine smile. I smiled back and lunged for her, nearing pushing Cassie to the ground to throw myself in Lucy's lap. She started giggling and wrapped her arms around me to hug me back and I realized how much I missed the sound.

Molly kissed the top of Lucy's head and took a seat next to where I was sprawled over Lucy, and Cassie lounged out on the arm chair next to the couch. She had a light in her eyes that we haven't seen in what seemed like an eternity and was smiling from ear to ear at each of us.

I shifted so I was sitting next to her instead of on her and caught the look on Molly's face. She was staring at the jeans Lucy had on with pursed lips and an eyebrow raised; her skeptical look.

Lucy's jeans looked two sizes too big; they were baggy and seemed to slip from her slim hips, whereas a few weeks ago they fit her snugly.

I shook my head at Molly, a way of saying 'don't bring it up now'. She didn't look happy about it, but she nodded and kept quiet. We both turned to Cassie and Lucy who were talking about what was on the TV.

We kept it calm, we could all tell Lucy was the best she's been in a while and no one wanted to ruin that by bringing up the dark stuff.

After a little more silence, Lucy finally spoke up.

"I'm okay."

All our heads snapped to look at her and she laughed, "I'm not great, but I'm… okay?" she sounded like she was trying to wrap her head around it herself.

Molly put her hand over hers, "that's all we ask you to be, Luce."

Lucy smiled, turned her hand over to hold Molly's and nodded, "I know. And I'm trying. This sucks and I miss him," her voice hitched and a hint of a tears gathered in her eyes, "but being depressed won't bring him back. I just gotta wait and see what happens now, I guess." She shrugged, taking a deep breath.

I looked over at Molly and Cassie and saw them do the same thing. None of us were sure if it would last, but this was the best we'd seen Lucy in a long time and that's all we wanted.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "that sounds like a plan."

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY DON'T HATE ME PLEASE I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRY**

**I really am sorry. I can't believe it's been this long since I updated. I swear I'm gonna try to finish this.**

**It just occurred to me now, after years of writing this, that it has no plot whatsoever. And I don't think I ever had a plot in mind…**

**So maybe that's why it's so hard to write…**

**Either way, I'll get on it.**

**I AM SO SORRY**

**-LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken**


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